...and how was your day?

All those who know me even halfway well, will readily attest I am an unsurpassed champion of capitalism and the free market and all that. However, I must say that just because I think the market economy is, unquestionably, the cat's ass, doesn't mean I enjoy participating in it.

Sure, the filthy lucre I manage to wrench from the tattered purses of the proletariat certainly buys me myriad goodies. But actually doing the wrenching (with one or another client ably representing the starving proletariat) is, to not put too fine a point on it, a colossal pain in the tender bits of the anatomy.

I'll give you an example:

One of my clients has a real estate project he wishes to undertake. He asks me if some of my other clients/contacts might be interested in participating in this project. He wants 35% of the asking price of property as down payment, to be made possible by equity investors whom I'd refer. If they like it and agree, I get 10% of the down payment (i.e., 3.5% of the project cost) up front AND 5% of the sale price when the property is sold in a couple of years. He also says he has the remaining 65%, via bank financing.

Gee, that sure sounds swell. Until he asks me if this other client (who earns, quite literally, more per week than my house is worth) would be interested in financing the project, since he might agree to slightly more favorable terms. OK, I schedule the meeting and work up the numbers and after 90 minutes of back and forth he doesn't care to finance the deal BUT wants to invest in it.

Well, we already have investors out the yin-yang. So now I have to find a diplomatic way to tell this client to bugger off (circumstances eventually came to our rescue) AND make sure the financing comes through so that my other clients who invested don't lose the eleventy jillion dollars deposited. Oh, and the bank is in Naples, FL. Oh, and Numbah One Son has a school thing today and I'll be the only dad missing it.

Envy me yet?

So I call the guy desiring to invest and tell him that there isn't time for him to do his VERY thorough due diligence (which is true) and that I don't have the gall to do something as unfair and improper as to put even the appearance of pressure on him. He is grateful and we'll keep him in mind for future projects.

But I still have to schlep out across the peninsula in a raging downpour and meet with a banker and pitch this thing all over again. Then, financing seemingly achieved I have to haul ass to Miami because TFBIM has one in her endless series of conferences to attend and I need to be in full-on SAHD mode.

With the lads thrashing the place, I decide to make sushi (assorted veggie-ish hosomaki) and teriyaki shrimp/mushroom skewers. Only TFBIM decides to loiter post-conference at happy hour with her fellow conferees (a group, incidentally, about whom I am generally not amiably predisposed) and instead of arriving 6ish, she arrives 8:45ish.

To assuage my feelings of grave annoyance, I went shopping and managed to get a load--on SALE!--of some stuff for our home that TFBIM should like well enough, but which I adore:

1- For the dining room: This dining table (which, without leaves is the size our current table with both leaves), with these chairs
2- For the home theatre: This chair and matching sofa, and 3 of these these tables
3- For the living room: Two of these lamps, to replace the faux chinois ones from Bombay Company, which really don't work with the Kinda Sorta Arts & Crafts thing we have going on in the living room.

Yes, I am tired and yes I am cranky.


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