Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Meme, thy name is woman

La Poppisima hath tagged mine arse on this meme, which was intended for screenwriters.

Eons ago, while the earth was cooling, I wrote a few screenplays (I minored--quite accidentally--in film) and made a coupla films.

What is your earliest film-related memory?

I was 4 years old and for some reason, my parents thought taking me to see Thunderball was an acceptable thing. Well dressed guy with amazing car shoots baddies and gets all the hot girls. I think I could get behind that. As you can see, this has informed my life's arc.

The first film I actually went to see of my own volition (as opposed to being dragged) was Monty Python and The Holy Grail. I was 11. My parents were convinced, there and then, I desperately needed some sort of therapy.


Name two favorite lines from movies.

1. "Teaching the lepers how to sing." Stolen (in adapted form) from Dead Men Don't Wear Plaid, and used whenever someone engages in an activity of purported charity which accomplishes nothing, but makes the person performing such an act feel as if s/he had actually achieved something.

2. "So that's it, then. We're going to die." Stolen from The Hitchhiker's Guide To The Galaxy and used whenever TFBIM is scared of something that I'm doing that in reality merits barely a raised eyebrow.

Name three jobs you'd do if you could not work in "The Biz."

I actually couldn't work in the biz! At least not at such a level which would support my monumentally expensive tastes and hobbies. But I could be the supreme arbiter of menswear and have an empire rivaling Ralph Lauren's. I could design sports cars and have an empire rivaling Enzo Ferrari's or Ferdinand Porsche's. I could, of course, be the greatest President in the history of the USA, or, better yet, Maximum Leader. Y'all could see a monument to me in Washington, right?

Name four jobs you have actually held outside the Industry.

I've been an "inventory supervisor" for a jeweler (my dept. was watches), a line cook (oh, the stories), a bartender (oh, the shameful stories), and a stockbroker (ZZZZZZZZzzzzzz).

Name three book authors you like.

1. P. G. Wodehouse. Although I have the plots of his books clear in my mind. Yet, I reread same with the same joy as the first time. Easily the single finest craftsman of the English language ever seen.
2. S.J. Perelman. Read Westward Ha! and marvel.
3. C.S. Lewis. I have a thing for people who go by initials.

Name two movies you'd like to remake or properties you'd like to adapt.

1. I'd like a film to have the dialogue of The Philadelphia Story with the music of High Society. Then you really got something, boss. The ideal woman would look like Grace Kelly and sound like Katharine Hepburn.
2. Night of The Avenging Blowfish--I can totally see this with Bruce Willis as the hapless Dale Coldiron.

Name one screenwriter you think is underrated.

Poppy's right. Whit Stillman. Steve Martin is underrated as a screenwriter, as is Dan Ackroyd. But Whit wins.

-J.

Posted by Joke at 4:50 AM

2 Comments

  • Blogger Fun Joel posted at 10:53 PM, January 19, 2006  
    For a second I thought you wrote "the music of High Anxiety!" ;-) Thanks for participating.
  • Blogger Joke posted at 8:54 AM, January 24, 2006  
    I live to benefit humanity.

    -J.
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