One for the distaff side.

One of the problems with serving Tiki beverages to "civilians" is that a LOT of these are surprisingly (to them) rather dry and complex and potent. Keep in mind, when you say "Tiki cocktails" a lot of people assume slushy blender fare and they kind of expect something fruity and not too high-octane. So, to balance all those 1934 Zombies, you need something like the...

Leilani Volcano

3 oz guava nectar (I suggest you make your own with frozen fruit pulp from La Fé or Goya, 1:1 pulp to water)


1½ oz pineapple juice (if you can't get a fresh pineapple to squeeze your own, get the Dole juice in the carton, not the cans)

¾ oz lime juice (always go for the limes with a bit of a yellow underside and minimally pointiness)

¼ oz rock candy syrup (2:1 sugar to water, teensy dash of vanilla)

1½ oz coconut rum (Cruzan or Roncoco)

Build in mixing glass and shake with 1 cup crushed ice, or use blender with a "milkshake blade" for 4 seconds. Serve in one of those ceramic coconuts from Trader Vic's you got cheap on eBay.

You may wonder worry about all that fruit juice, syrup and coconut rum. Fret not, because the lime cuts all that sweetness, giving it a very lovely balance so that it's not a cloying mess. YES, this will be on the sweet side of things. (The mixology at the WDW Polynesian is underrated, although it leans more to the sweeter side.)

Mrs. JMG is a huge fan of these.

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