Things only SAHDs know about.


So I'm at the pediatrician with NOS. The Doc looks out the window and says "Is that your black [ridiculously impractical Italian car]?"

"Yah huh," I reply.

Doc: "I thought you had a red [slightly less ridiculously impractical, but stupidly faster Italian car]."
Me: "I still have it."
Doc: "...and your wife lets you? Wow."

Pause...pause...(mind you, all this time, he is examining NOS)

Doc: "He has a bit of strep. What's it like to drive?"

Me: "It's great. This is my everyday car, though, but it gets great mileage, too."

Doc: "Is it reliable? I'll prescribe [some antibiotic I'm blanking on], __mg., twice a day, for 10 days."

Me: "Yes, but you have to be fanatical about the maintenance...most people slack on that and then all Hell breaks loose."

Doc: "I should get one."

Me: "If you don't need something collectible, they are actually rather reasonable."

Doc: "Really? I'd like to see him again in about a month, he's due for some bloodwork."

Me: "I'll dredge up some stuff and fax it over, I'll even introduce you to Richard, who is a wizard with these cars, and very fairly priced."

Doc: "That's good to know! Thank you! Bye, NOS!"

So now I'm doing research on Italian sports cars for my pediatrician.



MsCellania said…
Oh for gosh sake. When you buy one of those cars you may as well import an Italian mechanic and ship him over with the car as you almost need live-in mechanic help. The smartest move my friends with the car afflication ever made was to hire a full-time, on-site mechanic. He also does property maintenance and is very stern with visiting teenagers - puts them to work mowing, etc. He makes a good enough salary that he purchased a yacht - and spends 2 months now sailing various bodies of sea water. And my friends pray they have no car woes during his well-deserved sabbatical every year. I have learned to visit while he is on site or I spend half the time running vehicles I am nervous as hell to drive to various motor works as one half of the friends do not drive a stick shift.

And do you wipe the brake dust off after every trip? Wash the garage floor more than the house? I thought so.

I keep saying cheaper than a mistress but I am beginning to wonder...
Joke said…
Cheaper in the sense that lawyer's fees, child support and alimony are not part of the calculus.

Richard the Italo-Jamaican wonder has no idea what he COULD charge. I take my cars to him RELIGIOUSLY every 8 weeks for an overall checkup.

Ask bb about my mania. I have more car care products than Poppy & Badger have cosmetic products COMBINED.

I luuuuurve my cars.

Sarah Louise said…
I can't laugh out loud, I'm in a library!
Joke said…
[glowering look]SHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH![/glowering look]


jujube said…
Joke, you have been HAD my friend.

and by someone who deals with KIDS all day for crying out loud.
Badger said…
I once got my kid's occupational therapist hooked on the homeopathic remedy we use for insomnia ovah heah. Does that count?
--erica said…
that is funny.
Poppy Buxom said…
Things are similar around here, except it's car talk with the dentist. Why someone who cruelly parts me from vast sums of money insists on talking non-stop about expensive playthings is beyond me, but he does. It's either that, or he talks about guitars and guitarists.

Do I look like someone suffering from a superabundance of testosterone? No, I do not. I suppose it's the amount of time I spend with the guy. He's starting to mistake me for his best friend. I should remind him I'm still only a patient.
blackbird said…
What makes you think I haven't discussed shoes with my pediatrician?

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