"Oh, honey, I am SO blogging this." UPDATED

Speaking of wringing out livers...

We had a reception sort of thing to attend tonight. Fortunately, it was 3 blocks from my parents' house, so they could babysit the boys.

The basic premise was one of a mish-mash between a wine tasting an a cocktail party. There are 5 similar sorts of wines, say, "crisp whites" or "fruity reds" at 5 separate stations, and various different food stations that pair up with them. A DJ is playing appropriate background music. There are standup tables discreetly positioned around the room.

Knowing how this thing works out, we arrived a bit early (it's also been raining buckets for days on end, which gives us hope for a quick end to the mosquito shortage) but even then, the standup tables have largely been taken. There is one at the front, close to the DJ. We dive for it and begin getting organized, gathering wines and vittles.

A woman in her late 40s (or so I guesstimate) asks in the other 2 spots are free and we say no. She introduces herself as "Claudia" and her friend is "Monica" (also a likely suspect in her late-ish 40s). We chat a while. TFBIM notices they seem to have been particularly assiduous in the tasting of wines and also there are a great deal of women in their general demographic segment and ALL of them are devoid of wedding bands. Pretty soon shoes come off and they are grooving openly to the DJs background music. The few single-ish men in attendance are spoilt for choice. It is very weird to see women who are, by day, respectable professionals...booty dancing.

Imagine some upmarket realtor trying to, like Stella, get her groove back. Only not with some beefcake cabana boy, but a middle-aged attorney who, by the looks of it, just discovered mousse and blow dryers. Now imagine fifty of 'em.

That was my evening.


When I wrote the above, I was about to fall asleep on my keyboard. The wines were excellent and the food was t.d.f. Last night was "crisp whites" and we started off with a Pinot Grigio. Since my wine/food pairing shortcut is Ye Olde "what grows together, goes together," I gathered up prosciutto and melon, little skewers of marinated grape tomatoes & tiny fresh mozzarella, stuffed sun-dried tomatoes and olives (for TFBIM).

Next up was a Sauvignon Blanc from New Zealand. This was crisp, lemony-fruity, with lots of food-friendly acidity...so I went straight for the crabcakes--without remoulade for me--and coconut battered shrimp, and some Asian-ish lobster mousse fritter thing. It was soo good I wanted to sell my clothes because I was in heaven.


The thing of this is that you get a card, about half the size of a standard sheet of paper, with the names of the wine and boxes and lines for you to comment on and then you can refer to it and remember what you liked and what tasted like something best sent to a veterinary lab for analysis. Seeing as how it's 5-something in the morning (don't ask) I'm not able to get it from the car just now, but rest assured I remember everything. Except the wine names.


There was a Joseph Drouhin white, and we--by this time we were joined by "Doris" and "Laura" who were two very nice middle-aged ladies not on a drunken prowl for divirced men, at least not just then--paired this up with a raclette and some assorted goat cheeses.

There were two Spanish whites, from the same vintner (Viña Torres), but different vineyards (something something Esmeralda, and something Mayor) and those wound up paired to potato tortilla (a Spanish frittata, not the stuff you wrap around tacos or burritos or something), really insanely good chorizo, and Manchego cheese.

Finally, a glass of Gallo's "boutique" (as opposed to the stuff in 5 gallon drums) California Sauvignon Blanc and that went with a whole array of eastern Mediterranean nibbles: stuffed grape leaves with lamb & mint, a scallion hummus with pita--yum--and a roasted eggplant relish (like a cross between a chutney and baba ghannoush).

Then we walked over to Joke the Elder's house and retrieved those whom we had offsprung...who had feasted on drive-thru chicken nuggets (a very rare treat at Chez Joke) and spent the entire time playing computer games (we let 'em have an hour or so a day, tops, if they have otherwise been stellar).



Women have this sort of unspoken bonding thing and dancing in tribes is just one of those things. It takes a lot of liquor for me to do something like that but at the annual convention I attend with 1000 women and a handful of men, we are all wild banshees.
Suse said…
Wait. Without their shoes?

Lord help us.
Joke said…
PR, I hope Mr. Reader doesn't have to live with a woman who removes her wedding band and gets all grape-ed up to prowl for middle-aged divorced men. Because this is what this was...middle-aged divorced women playing musical chairs with the few available middle-aged divorced men.

Suse...I don't get it either. Maybe it's something divorcees on the hunt do?

MsCellania said…
Well, shucks; you and TFBYM have ALL the fun.

I imagine they became unshod when their ridiculous little shoesies became unbearable in which to dance. Which then made their outfits look bleh, but they were probably too likkered up to notice.

The food sounds like it was worth the spectacle. Lucky you weren't groped, or something.
Joke said…
You laugh. TFBIM threatened to throw me into the Divorcee Mosh Pit, screaming "he's GREAT with kids!" if I didn't do as she asked.

Major Bedhead said…
Did they dance in a circle around their handbags, though? That's the key question.

I'm going to have to stop reading these liquor-ish blog entries. It's really starting to piss me off.
Sarah Louise said…
cannot stop laughing.

and I don't think I could ever get into "wine tasting." and therefore it seems an odd way to meet men...

and since I don't own a pair of uncomfortable shoes...I just take them off under my desk at work and when I get home in the evening--I'm guessing since this is Florida they weren't worried about getting runs in their hose?

I never ate a chicken nugget until I was way past 13. It seems, though, that it's all kids these days will eat! Wait, when was the chicken nugget introduced?

SL, who doesn't want to catalogue those DVDs or CD-ROMs.

and my vw, I kid you not, is zufrsy. Which sounds like an animal from a Dr. Seuss book...
"It is very weird to see women who are, by day, respectable professionals...booty dancing."

And here I thought Florida was "home of the rump shaker". Why weird? I must not be a respectable professional by day then...but then again I don't dance with men who use mousse OR hair dryers. MMM although Dominican and Puertorican refuses to dance unless he's at home with all the blinds closed...so we married ladies keep our rings ON and dance in tribes all the while waving our married fingers in the faces of sweaty, sweaty suitors.
Joke said…
Trig- I find it difficult to reconcile the vision of a middle aged account manager grinding her tush into the zippered section of a middle aged radiologist's trousers...to background musics AT A WINE TASTING.

I'll pause while you contemplate that. :-)

SL- I'd sic a platoon of deprogrammers at you if you made off with any of the ::cough, cough:: eligible bachelors there.

Riiight. Background musickckck. Got it- nuff said. BUT I've just GOT to get myself to a wine tasting if that's what's going on. And here I thought it was all old married folks- who knew?
Joke, I am so totally married I never remove my wedding ring except to clean it.

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