Like many people out there, we're not so very keen on the drudgery that accompanies the Christmas season. We don't look forward to hauling out the boxes of ornaments, the ribbons and the thchotchkes. Not for us the testing of itty bitty lights, nor of determining which side of the tree looks empty. Especially after an arduous Thanksgiving and a Friday After that's more akin to a Bataan Death March with Credit Cards than a shopping spree.
But we do it anyway. A long time ago, one of my Jesuit teachers responded to my whining and moaning about something or other with the following nugget o' wisdom: "You are completely free from the responsibility of enjoying it. That done, all you have left is to perform the task in question." So we do. After a while it becomes a useful emotional tool to have, to "press on regardless."
This is more sorely tested the day after Epiphany, when it all must come down. But I digress.
Part of this process is the sending out of Christmas/Chanukah cards. As much as doing them is a PITA, it unhinges me more to not do them. This year in particular, with TFBIM's party like a bone in my calendar's throat, it has been extra-vexing. But they must be done, and so they will. Just when I think the task of sending out 80something cards, I am reminded that other than hand scribbling/signing the insides of a dozen or so of them, it's all one happy mail merge function. In fact, the hardest thing is to seal and stamp the envelopes, and I have kids who can do THAT. Even sorting the recipients into A-, B-, C- and D-Listers is a breeze.
Therefore, I secretly harbor a lack of sympathy for (mostly TFBIM's friends, but some of mine, too) who, having
1- The hardware (computer, printer, cards, stamps and moistening device),
2- Software (word processing program, appropriate fonts, list of names and addresses),
3- No major impediments (such as elderly parents for whom to care, a gravely-ill child, an indictment, impending labor and birth)
4- The basic knowledge required to run a mailmerge,
somehow manage to flub this very elementary task. I sneer inwardly at them, because I am unrepentantly shallow that way. But I pretend to be understanding.
Anyway, for your viewing pleasure the cards and decorations for 2006:
First, the New! For! 2006! D-List! Cards! I got them in the clearance bin of an outlet store. It'd be only a slight exaggeration to say I paid more in sales tax for them than I did in the cards' cost. But the exaggeration would be very, very slight.
Then, of course, we have the C-List cards. $1.97 for 20.
B-List. Shag cards. I liked them so much I even paid retail at the fancy-pants stationery store, but then again, it's not like there's a whole battalion of B-Listers, either.
Then, of course, come the A-List cards, from Crane's. Some may wonder at the rather, um, broad spectrum spanning the styles of the A- & B-List cards. I just happen to like 'em both. Crane cards aren't cheap, but since the number of A-Listers is SO SMALL, I just buy the multiple design box of 24 ($Ouch) and that lasts about 3 years.
Now here's the oldest tree we have. When TFBIM and I were in that we're-going-to-get-engaged-but-haven't-yet phase we went shopping for cards and stuff together one day and if we pooled our purchases we'd get this mini-tree for free, along with X miniature ornaments from our local Hallmark. So we dubbed this our "dating tree" and we still put some gifts for each other under it. Because we're saccharine that way.
This is followed by the tree the boys decorate themselves. As we accumulate lowermiddlebrow ornaments (and irony-free, to boot) we need a place to handle the overflow AND we need to give the boys something to do to get them out of our hair. Hence the tree below:
The Main Tree is this one, strung with a suntan-inducing 1500 lights. From afar it looks like something you'd see in the pages of Martha Stewart's or Victoria Magazine, but closer inspection reveals ornaments of mice sledding on Hershey bars, or Coca-Cola Santas, or Snoopy, and the like. Dig the variation on the train 'neath the tree.
Finally, here is the (Gas) Fireplace area with the garland and the stockings. You may make out, at the bottom right corner, the creche NOS and my FiL built a couple of years ago. Every year we add a couple of new cast members.
Here's a close-up.
Bah! Humblog!
-J.
Posted by Joke at 10:53 AM
Bec of the Ladies Lounge posted at 8:05 PM, December 06, 2006
I love that you have simultaneously managed to both put me fully in the Christmas mood AND raised my Xmas Sarcasm levels to a new high.
For example, I'm all sooky over the nativity scene. But I'm also already framing my own Bah Humblog post...
We have an A and B list of cards - but only because I'm too lazy to send anything out below a B.
Have three kids under five gave me a hiatus on card-sending for a few years - I've lost that excuse this year and must simply follow the advice of the Jesuits. Thank you.
Joke posted at 8:12 PM, December 06, 2006
You're entirely welcome.
The thing about the multiple tiers of card receiving categories is that my printer doesn't care. That way it's easy to rank people according to esteem.
Now, one thing that really helps is if both of the grownups (this assumes a two-grownup household) do their bit. To get all this Christmasness done with only one of the two doing the heavy lifting is like trying to climb stairs with only one leg. Adam Smith called it "division of labour" and he was right.
Therefore, even when we had TWO children younger than three, things got done, because TFBIM and I shouldered the tasks more-or-less equally.
-J.
Stomper Girl posted at 10:04 PM, December 06, 2006
Love those groovy Shag cards. And the train track round the boys' tree. But I can't quite work out what the variant on the train beneath the pretty sparkly lit-up tree is?
Sarah O. posted at 10:38 PM, December 06, 2006
I thought I was the only one who sent out different cards to different listers.
Thinking we'd be in a tiny bungalow in California by now, I threw out all of my unused Christmas cards.
Therefore, this year everyone's getting the cheapo D-list cards I found on sale at Target.
Simplify, simplify, take the cheap way out.
Desiree posted at 2:01 AM, December 07, 2006
Well I hate to rain on your bah humbug parade but I so love Christmas and really enjoyed the pics! Thanks for posting them!
Kim posted at 5:32 AM, December 07, 2006
Wait.
You have four levels for card giving?
You have three trees?
Joke posted at 7:46 AM, December 07, 2006
SG,
The "main train" is a miniature Disney World monorail.
Lemony,
I'd've packed 'em up, but I'm weird like that.
Kim,
Yes. Other than locating and purchasing, there is ZERO ADDITIONAL EFFORT in mailing multiple levels of cards. I could get down to a Q-List and there would be no additional bother whatsoever. X number of cards is X number of cards. Which is why they are (almost) all printed on computer.
As re. the trees. The TINY one is packed away fully assembled. The medium one is given to the boys to fight over...er...decorate. Which leaves us with only the one regular tree to do.
D.,
The "bah, humblog!" was meant for the PITA that is putting up stuff. Once up, we kinda like it.
-J.
Poppy Buxom posted at 10:56 AM, December 07, 2006
I have three full-sized trees. One for each residence. None of them is up yet. The one in the city is locked in our storage area. We think we left the combination of the lock in a jeans' pocket and then put it through the laundry. Whoops.
I do things in a very slacker manner. Every time I come up from the basement, I bring up a couple of tchotkes.
I think I'll clean off the piano and put the creche up today.
I only have A-list cards. If I even bother to send you a card, you're on my A-list.
Poppy Buxom posted at 10:58 AM, December 07, 2006
Oh.
And computer printing/mail merge type shite? Is just wrong. A man might find it efficient, but women know that if they do that shit, their female friends will judge them, and harshly, too.
You can send out cheap, tacky cards, but if the addresses and insides are not filled in by hand? You might as well not bother.
And that is why TFBYM's friends are freaking out.
Tere posted at 11:30 AM, December 07, 2006
So now when the people on your list get their cards from you, they can come here and figure out what list they fall under.
Joke posted at 11:54 AM, December 07, 2006
P.,
Yes, I know it's wrong. Only the A-Listers deserve the Full Miss Manners treatment. Basically it's a calculated, passive-aggressive snub. But I am not hand-addressing ANY envelopes until my penmanship improves to the point I can write the delivery scan barcode for the Post Office not to lose the cards. So even the A-Listers are fully unable to escape my appalling indolence.
Believe me, I wish I could get away with not sending anything beyond A-List cards (maybe scootch up a few B-Listers along). What the recipients of the lesser cards think is of minimal consequence to me. If we're very fortunate, the C-and D-Listers will detach themselves.
T.,
This presupposes a far greater capacity for initiative than the B-, C- & D-Listers possess.
-J.
Poppy Buxom posted at 1:49 PM, December 07, 2006
Well, you've inspired me to surf indolently over to paperposey.com and order 100 ugly-ass cards; the kind you can stick photos on.
Then I'll upload the picture of choice to walgreens.com.
Then I'll actually, physically, stick the photos on the cards. And the stamps on the envelopes. And scribble something on everything.
And then maybe get them into the mail.
Because I learned one thing last year; It doth not profit the slacker mom to scoop up many, many cute photo cards on sale at Target. For if they hath the year printed on them, she will never bothereth to send them out, and lo, they are therefore dust and ashes in her mouth.
Joke posted at 4:51 PM, December 07, 2006
P.,
Just put a sticker covering the year. Disney does that ALL the bloody time.
-J.
creative-type dad posted at 2:27 AM, December 08, 2006
That's funny! We have 2 tiers of cards we send out.
This year we may add a 3rd (for those who don't have a sense of humor and aren't family)
Joke posted at 10:58 AM, December 08, 2006
CTD,
Not only that I think that in my capacity as Keeper of The Cards for the household, I may even start dropping people. I have yet to arrive at a formula for doing so, but I think it's about time I started weaning off some people off the milk of MY human kindness.
-J.
Carolyn posted at 9:47 PM, December 09, 2006
I dropped in to catch up.
I'm glad the party went well.
Maybe for the people who RSVP'd and didn't show you could send some of those Christmas cards that show Santa pooping down the chimney. Just a thought. :P
Joke posted at 1:52 PM, December 10, 2006
C.,
Not that I can do it this year, but...link, please?
-J.
« Home
Then, of course, come the A-List cards, from Crane's. Some may wonder at the rather, um, broad spectrum spanning the styles of the A- & B-List cards. I just happen to like 'em both. Crane cards aren't cheap, but since the number of A-Listers is SO SMALL, I just buy the multiple design box of 24 ($Ouch) and that lasts about 3 years.
Bec of the Ladies Lounge posted at 8:05 PM, December 06, 2006
