Random weirdnesses

Like all sentient beings, I hate getting spammed. What is really weird is that now that I correspond with some of you lovely people via e-mail (and therefore know your 1st names) and I get a spam message that at first appears from one of you and turns out to be, well:

1- Not, and
2- Naughty

This just happened not 45 seconds ago. Partly because the message was disguised as Something Perfectly Harmless And Not Naughty, and partly because of the acute caffeine deficit in my bloodstream. Anyway, I see I have a message from "Mildred"* (no, it doesn't show email addresses in the mail message list, only the name of the putative sender) with the subject line being something like "What we had been discussing last night" because Mildred and self had exchanged a couple of emails last night. So, groggy fool that I am, I clicked to open it.

It was very naughty. A very flattering offer, no doubt.

The good news was that it wasn't "our" Mildred partially attired like a cheerleader. In sum, I have ratcheted up my Spam filtration thing on my email.

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I have tallied up your suggestions for the quick weekend travel. It is now in the hands of the people who run the "fly at the last minute" offers for Delta & American Airlines. Out of sheer curiosity (and courtesy to our Australian cousins) I looked into flying to Australia and cost aside, discovered that, if we were to remain true to the timetable, we LITERALLY had 42 minutes to spend in Australia before boarding the return flight.

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Since this was my first week back from FT to SAHD, I am just now getting to send off the packages as promised. I know, I'm all derelict and I suck.

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I am a very tolerant man. Patient, kind, all that. I stumble on posts which decry the things in which I believe...and I let them pass without comment.

However.

There is one thing that is going on that simply cannot be ignored. It has been going on in the USA (cannot speak about the rest of the world) for over thirty years now, and it's an outrage and I cannot hold my peace any longer. I know some of you feel differently -- maybe even ardently so -- but you should consider opposing points of view. Look at things from a different perspective, realize that whomever disagrees with you isn't evil or morally stunted. Imagine that holding fast to a more, say, traditional, viewpoint isn't necessarily exhibiting some atavistic fetish. Be open minded to the possibility your opinion might be changed.

I speak, of course, of improperly shortening the names of things out of convenience.

Not saying "burger" instead of "hamburger" but saying "latte" instead of "caffé latte" or referring to a vodka martini as a "martini." It's been driving me mental. Latte is Italian for milk, and not espresso with milk added thereto. Martini is a cocktail made with @#$%ing gin, not vodka. (There is nothing wrong with a vodka martini, just call it what it is, dammit.)

Please check the impulse to speak such barbarities or, worse, commit them to print.
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I need espresso. More later.

-J.

* Names changed to protect the innocent and all that.

Comments

Badger said…
I think/hope that I have always been specific with regard to the type of martini I drink, owing to the fact that I would not be caught DEAD with a glass of gin and I want to make sure everyone understands that.
Joke said…
A commendable specificity. Your courage in standing athwart contemporary society is admirable.

-J.
julia said…
I heard a commercial for vodka the other day and the woman said "For the best martini, use Brand X vodka." Which made me scream at the radio "You don't make martinis with VODKA! You make martinis with GIN! If it has vodka in it, then it's a vodka martini, you stupid bint."

Worse than calling a caffe latte just a latte is people who call espresso EXpresso. I would like to beat them over the head with a bag of coffee beans. Don't get me started on those *cough* *cough* Mr. President *cough* who say nuCUlar. It's wrong, you ignorant bollix.

*contented sigh* I feel much better now. Thank you.
Joke said…
Within my lifetime, two Presidents (one from either party) have managed to say "nucular" instead of "nuclear." (One of them was even a nucular engineer!)

But yes.

-J.
Poppy Buxom said…
This from the guy who introduced me to the term "combox?"
Joke said…
Ah, but "combox" has only one meaning, so it cannot be used incorrectly. As opposed to "martini" or "latte" which have actual meanings; usually not what those (mis)employing them intended to mean.

And do not get me started on "hopefully."

-J.
h&b said…
I ordered a "latte" in Italy once.

The gent was surprised I wanted a milk for breakfast, I guess, and asked me if I wanted it hot or cold ?

I'm like "hot" ( duhh ? )

Went back to my table, and pondered this rather stupid question, did a quick translation and realised I was up for a big warm glass of disgusting MILK !

Ran back, apologised, changed order.

The Cafe au lait in France though is a bit like a warm glass of milk. Coffee does definately belong to the Italians !
Stomper Girl said…
I'm always scrupulous about ordering caffe latte, I think due to many years spent waitressing, but some of the slacker kid-waitpersons I do this to clearly think I'm pretentious! Australians LOVE to abbreviate things, but they don't always make words shorter in this process; ie Chrissie prezzies. And my 2 kids with their succinct one-syllable names have both had them lengthened by close friends & acquaintances so they've each got a bonus "y" on the end now.

My mother was/is a "hopefully" nazi. Left a huge impression on me, although I don't get fired up about it like some do...
MsCellania said…
Oh, if I'm to be on the receiving end of a goody bag, please delay posting for a week or so.
And that reminds me - I have a small package to ship, as well.
BabelBabe said…
hopefully makes me INSANE.
or rather the misuse therof.

also, we exchanged several emails....am I Mildred? How exciting if I am! (I don't get out much...)
Carolyn said…
And on the side of making words longer than they need to be, my mother hates when people say "hamburger meat." (It's a CA thing.)

However, when we lived in Maine, she was one of the masses who used the expression "tuna fish."
Suse said…
Oh, disaPPOINTed.

You could have squeezed in quite a few drinks in 42 minutes.

AND, you could have shared the experience with my good self, Shula, Stomper, LazyCow, h&b and any other Melburnians we dragged along. Possibly even Mildred.

Sigh.
Joke said…
While its tempting to drag my two sons as far as one can possibly go from here without leaving the planet, for the express purpose of speed-guzzling a half-gallon of Shiraz in the company of utterly stellar Melbournians for almost three quarters of an hour, the horrific airfare precluded me from yielding thereto.

But don't feel bad, had I decided to attempt this same thing in Sydney, I'd've only had 34 minutes.

-J.
My float said…
42 minutes? Long enough for a drink or three!

Very disappointing lack of commitment, I must say.

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