The tedium is the message.

This is what a typical day looks like:

6:30am - Rise and shine. Well, rise anyway.
6:45am - Prepare what passes for breakfast and pack lunch.
7:00am - Begin issuing threats to the offspring.
7:15am - Assist in the frantic search for the missing article of clothing du jour.
7:20am - Issue sterner warnings, specifically to the effect that, since Mom isn't around, if breakfast is not fully consumed by the designated departure time, we will neither allot extra time nor allow consumables to go along for the ride.
7:30am - Depart for school.
7:47am - Walk back from school's main gate, greet assorted parents and teachers and nuns and others.
8:15am - Return home. Have a breakfast of espresso, orange juice and ____. Exhale.
8:35am - Sprint back to school to drop off forgotten assignment.
9:00am - Check eBay
9:30am - Check my fave blogs
10:00am - Check eBay some more
10:30am - Go work out.
11:30am - Get detained chatting with some of the school moms who also work out at the same place.
Noon - Determine appropriate leftovers to have for lunch
1:00pm - Field calls from clients, answer messages, etc.
2:00pm - Double espresso and a biscotti
2:30pm - Effect pickup. Chat with more moms.
3:00pm - Return to school to pick up missing item crucial to homework.
3:45pm - Issue homework related threats.
4:15pm - Remove some sort of privilege as a consequence of watching TV in lieu of doing homework.
5:00pm - Go biking around the block a few times. Chat with no moms.
6:00pm - Start issuing bath related threats.
6:15pm - Issue reminders of privileges lost and privileges in peril
6:30pm - Begin dinner. This starts with a large glass of wine.
7:00pm - Dinner
7:03pm - Remind offspring that as a Part Time Single Dad, if they don't have dinner, I do not feel guilty if they go to sleep famished and the kitchen gets locked at bedtime.
7:45pm - Clear table
8:00pm - Book time!
9:00pm - Bed time for lads.
9:02pm - Check eBay.
9:45pm - Shower.
10:00pm - Flop in bed to read/blog
10:15pm - Yell hello to TFBIM, explain the various options available for her dinner (reheat tonight's or what leftovers are available)
11pm - Be forced to evacuate the room as TFBIM demands slumber. Read blogs.
11:30pm - Answer emails.
1am - Force myself to sleep.
6:30am - Repeat.

-J.

Comments

Stomper Girl said…
Funny, you are. From 6pm - 6.30pm I was laughing aloud. I'm so glad you can keep track of the privileges actually lost and those just in peril.
Suse said…
Whoa, the Children of Paradise go to school EARLY.
Badger said…
Dude. IT'S LIKE WE'RE TWINS.

Except I don't do eBay anymore.
Joke said…
Badge,

Relax, I'd doing your eBaying for you.

SG,

It's easy to keep track of privileges when you're speaking nonstop on the issue to the child in question.

-J.

P.S. Suse...they do? I thought that was pretty standard stuff. But then again, I haven't delved too deeply in the matter of school hours.
daysgoby said…
You realize, I'm sure, that Part-Time-Single-Dad shares its acronym with Post Traumatic Stress Disorder....

which I think you could easily get, with too many more trips back to school for lost things!
blackbird said…
Tuvaluan children depart for school at 7:20...
am seriously considering a regular 6:15 announcement regarding priviledges in peril.
Joke said…
I may have to install a Privileges Scoreboard.

-J.
Kim said…
Are they at a private school? I used to get a 7.14am bus to the train station to get to school, but I was officially 'weird' due to my desire to be the first student at school (in a highschool w/ approx 1,200 students).

The boys schools start at 9.15 and 8.45am respectively.

I'm lovin' privileges in peril.
Kim said…
and what kind of things are you tracking on ebay?

just curious. that's all.

At the moment, for me, it's Star Wars lego x-wing fighters. I really want the older one that has the yoda house in it too.

The things we/I do. (Itried to do the strikethrough thing but it wouldn't let me. :( )
Joke said…
Kim,

It's a Catholic school...with real-live nuns in Full Habit!

As re. eBay, I track mostly things related to the cheap gimcrackery I foist on Poppy at her birthday and Christmas, some fancy vintage leathergoods (attaché cases, traveling stuff), VIEW MASTER REELS!, lots of assorted Harry Potter stuff (backpacks, lunchboxes, Legos) and assorted little parts and things for my weird cars.

-J.
BabelBabe said…
when do you do laundry and/or clean?
Suse said…
So school starts at 8am for Les Enfants du Paradis?

Here school is 9 - 3.30 so we leave for school at, you know, 5 to 9.
Joke said…
BabBab,

About 30 minutes ago.

Suse,

Yeah. They "assemble" just before 8am in the school's courtyard, hear the main announcements du jour, unbelt a couple of prayers, and march off to have knowledge forcibly affixed to their brains.

-J.

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