Wednesday, March 14, 2007

Icky or weird? YOU decide!

So I went for my usual workout.

As I am maneuvering between the various machines, and weights and things I catch sight of a gentleman easily 20 years my senior. Only he is unlike most gentlemen 20 years my senior. His hair, while it was receding and greying, had the greying remnants tied back in an insouciant ponytail. He is, by all indications, in very good shape.

He is wearing some sort of stretchy sleeveless shirt and bicycle shorts of what appear to be, from my VERY CURSORY GLANCE, seriously snug. (I did not, you'll be pleased to note, seek to confirm this impression.) Furthermore he seems blessed with having hair (likewise greying) in places where lemurs, etc. don't.

He had an iPod of some description strapped to his arm and he was listening to Three 6 Mafia and Linkin Park and The Offspring and Green Day and something gangsta-ish I couldn't recognize beyond mysogyny/firearms/the luxuriant use of the word "fuck" as a verb, at such levels that I, not being in proximity to the headphones of said iPod, could easily discern he was listening to Three 6 Mafia and Linkin Park and The Offspring and Green Day and something gangsta-ish I couldn't recognize beyond mysogyny/firearms/the luxuriant use of the word "fuck" as a verb.

He also had a jewel encrusted gold watch the size of a doorknob and a large, diamond-like stud earring in his (I believe) left ear. He looked like Harrison Ford's pimp taking a spa day.

He headed to the lockers while I performed the rest of my routine, and when I went in to take a steam* our hero was applying an impressive array of undereye serum, somethingsomething Repair Creme and the like.

If I ever become a geriatric metrosexual, you may all line up, in alphabetical order, and shoot me.

-J.

* The trick is to take a steam after working out, before taking a shower and then after all that, shaving for a supreme achievement in closeness; what the cognoscenti refer to as faceturbatorily close.

Posted by Joke at 5:17 PM

14 Comments

  • Blogger Sarah O. posted at 6:11 PM, March 14, 2007  
    Love the term geriatric metrosexual

    Also, just because someone's old doesn't mean they aren't genuinely crazy.
  • Blogger Joke posted at 6:35 PM, March 14, 2007  
    All the while I kept pondering "OMG, what is this guy thinking?"

    -J.
  • Blogger meggie posted at 10:17 PM, March 14, 2007  
    I think his brother, or a very close relative, lives accross the road from my daughter.
    He seems to have unlimited idle time, to pose & display himself to all & sundry who pass his house. He has bleached his hair, is very proud that he lost 50kilos, & is actually well on the way to regaining them, as he lounges about in lava lava skirts, & nothing else.
    He told my DJ & AAG that women adore him, he is like a magnet to them.
    DJ had to control the urge to laugh in his face, as he flung his naked leg over his knee.
    We swear he uses a tanning cream- he has sometimes got stripes!
  • Blogger Caro posted at 10:50 PM, March 14, 2007  
    EEEEWWWWW.

    That's quite a visual you paint.

    There are some icky people at the gym.
  • Blogger Poppy Buxom posted at 12:53 AM, March 15, 2007  
    Thanks for the tip, but I find the lighting inadequate in the gym showers for a really good shave.

    I can't seem to see all the way down to my ankles.
  • Blogger Stomper Girl posted at 2:02 AM, March 15, 2007  
    There's nothing like ageing gracefully.
  • Blogger Joke posted at 9:27 AM, March 15, 2007  
    Poppy,

    Allow me to assuage your fears. After knowing you for -- gulp! -- almost nine years, I can safely say you do not have hairy ankles.

    -J.
  • Blogger Badger posted at 9:33 AM, March 15, 2007  
    I vote for icky AND weird.

    And that right there is why I don't exercise.
  • Blogger Tere posted at 10:05 AM, March 16, 2007  
    ICKY.

    And sad.
  • Blogger My float posted at 7:10 AM, March 18, 2007  
    Was it Russell Crowe?
  • Blogger Joke posted at 8:35 AM, March 18, 2007  
    Think RC ca. age 65.

    -J.
  • Blogger My float posted at 9:46 PM, March 18, 2007  
    Erk, must I?
  • Blogger Joke posted at 9:58 PM, March 18, 2007  
    It does strengthen character.

    -J.
  • Blogger h&b posted at 6:15 PM, March 19, 2007  
    I was thinking Michael Douglas.

    Did you happen to catch a look at red lamborghini he drove off in ? Did it have a stacked blonde 20yrs his junior riding shotgun ?
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