NOS has landed the role of the narrator in the St. [insert Catholic saint here]'s 2007 Christmas* play.
It was tough sledding for a while, because the director Sr. [not her real name] Mary Joseph was sorely tempted to cast the poor lad as St. Gabriel the Archangel, as NOS has a spectacular singing voice. So spectacular, in fact, that were we in 1807 Italy instead of 2007 Fringe O' Paradise, there would be every chance some choir director would sneak him off and return him unable to issue any grandchildren for us. Which might have pleased operatic purists and eco-extremists, but gravely displeased us, and we're the rightful owners his parents.
The problem with a 10 year old boy playing St. Gabriel the Archangel -- or at least this production's version thereof -- is the script's calling for St. Gabriel the Archangel to have...and there's no way to put it mildly...rather luxuriant blonde tresses. Furthermore, St. Gabriel the Archangel is also required to dress in a tunic which other non-St. Gabriel the Archangel-playing boys who are putative friends with the actor who assumes the role are convinced (and are wildly amused) is a dress.
These were all details which NOS, never given to poring over the minutiae which comprises the large print, failed to note. He was driven starry-eyed by the prospect of having wings and a bugle of sorts and permission to blast the latter to the top of his 10 year old lungs. The realization he might look like Tinker Bell in her retirement years took all the thrill off this prospect.
Fortunately, a girl had her heart set upon playing St. Gabriel the Archangel, and she came already accessorized with luxuriant-ish blond-enough tresses and none of her friends would tease her into her mid-30s for wearing** a dress tunic. So, the stage mother went to speak with someone in charge-ish and NOS, being the sort of bright lad practically ruptured with altruism, freely and cheerfully yielded the prize character of St. Gabriel the Archangel, in exchange for being the narrator, which has the added bonus of being offstage and requiring no costume. Or memorization of lines beyond those required for him to sing a bit of "Veni, Veni Emmanuel."
I haven't been updated on this, but I believe NTS is a reindeer. Comet, I think.
* The nice thing about it is there's no need to bother with calling it "Winter Carnival" or "Holiday Pageant" to appease the PC Thought Squad.
** Cynical people would suggest her friends would tease her for how the tunic might fit or what color it was, or what shoes she wore. I wouldn't suggest that of her friends, but cynics might.