One wonders.

The lovely and gracious BabBab has been forced to be involved with a Scholastic Book Fair. Apparently, she did this partly because she's a gentle soul and partly because she couldn't be bothered to ask for advice or opinions.

She has since grown to dislike this activity with unfettered intensity. In a stroke of unvarnished opinion, she mused that certain people detained at the Guantanamo Naval Station would be best placed running such book fairs.

Which got me curious as to what sorts of books the captured terrorists guests at Club Gitmo would have on offer for the little darlings. I figured it'd be something like:
* Heather Has Two Burqas
* Goldilocks and the Three Zionists
* Charlotte's Web of Phantom Charities
* Don't Eat The Daisycutters
* One Wife, Two Wives, Red Wife, Blue Wife
* Detonating the Bridge to Terabithia
* Green Eggs and Hamas
* The Journalist and The Jihadist
* A Fly Went By. Until We Blew It Out of The Sky
* Pat Down The Bunny
* The Little Totally Peaceful Hidden Nuclear Reactor That Could
* The Beauty and The Militant
* 1001 Night Mortar Attacks
* How The Grinch Froze Our Swiss Bank Account Assets
* Where The Wild Things Are Getting Illicit Funding
* The Pied Pipe Bomber
* Brown Bear, Brown Bear What Do You See Going Up In A Colossal Fireball?
* The Wizard of Hezbolla
* Watership Down, With Loss of All Hands
* Everything I Need To Know I Learned In A Remote Camp Along The Syrian Border
* Itsy Bitsy Explosive
* I'm Getting 72, How About You?
* Amelia Bedelia Goes On The Achille Lauro
* Are You My Mother Of All Insurgencies?
* Charlie and the Munitions Factory
* Leo The Late Bomber
* Horton Hears A Who And Is Discredited By The Media Until It's Too Late
* Gerald McBoom-Boom
* Gulliver's Travels Avoiding Airport Security
* An Old Lady Who Lived In A Shoe She Detonated On A Flight Over Scotland
* Frog And Toad Put Aside Their Sectarian Differences, For Now.
* The Brave Little Terrorist
* Goodnight, Martyr
* Alice's Adventures in Dhimmitude
* If You Give Al-Jazeera A Cookie
* Three Blind News Agencies
* Babar Joins The Taliban
* Little Red Riding Hamas
* James And The Giant PLO
* The Strange Case of Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde All Your Stuff In Syria & Iran
* Guess How Much I Loathe You?
* The Rainbow Fish School Is Seized


daysgoby said…
I got as far as Pat Down The Bunny and had to stop for the tearing up and unbridled giggling - my God, J, did you do all of these yourself?

Good to know the Argentinians didn't sap you of all creative spirit.
Caro said…
I liked that. It's a classic post.
Joke said…
DGB - They didn't sap it so much as stopper it.

C - Thanks!


P.S. Incidentally, my fave is a toss-up between "Pat Down The Bunny" and "Green Eggs And Hamas."
BabelBabe said…
i like One Wife, two Wives...
Kim said…
That is really very funny. My favourites are Horton Hears A Who And Is Discredited By The Media Until It's Too Late and Where the Wild Things are Getting Illicit Funding and Everything I Need To Know I Learned In A Remote Camp Along The Syrian Border and...

I'm in the middle of making your pecan pie recipe btw.
Joke said…
BB - And to think I came up with the Detonating The Bridge T Terabithia just for you!

K - I live to serve humanity.

Kim said…
As I said, this is my all-time favourite.

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