Because I care.

I'll be very kindly posting my hybrid Cuber/Spain recipe for roast suckling pig. The roasting method is from Spain, the seasonings from Cuber, with a teensy flourish of modern Americana.

Stay tuned.

Now, a Yuletide rant.

I've noticed that in the last 3-4 years the number of Christmas cards has leapt off a cliff. Partly it can be explained by more cyber-cards, but mostly I think people have talked themselves into believing they are simply too damnably busy. This, of course, we have conclusively proven to be a myth.

The upside of this shortfall is the absence of people sending us photos taken in mid-August of their dejected looking offspring arrayed in elf-wear, with sullen scowls that fairly shout "What the [bad word], man? This is bull[another bad word]!" At the risk of being Scrooge-ish, we have never gone in for that. Sure, we used to include photos of the boys for those whom we felt would frame it, etc., but that was it. Normally we just sent a proper card, one in keeping with one's status as an A-, B- or C-lister.

The cheez-o-rama kid's photo card cannot even begin to compare with the ultimate in Yuletide horrors. I refer, naturally, to that abject disgrace that is The Group Letter. At some point earlyish in our family life, TFBIM started culling the day's mail for these, because she believed my habit of opening these and giving them a "dramatic interpretation" at dinnertime would somehow affect the boys in a negative way.

I, of course, beg to differ. The boys stand to reap colossal benefits from hearing their old man declaiming, in a superb falsetto, the suspenseful tale of TFBIM's pal A. and the ordeal of getting the wooden floors refinished before her cruel, cruel stepmother and dad arrived for Thanksgiving.

Come to think of it, let me take a look in the mailbox.

The only thing, I believe, that is worse than this group letter is someone publishing his (or her) group letter with photos of the children dressed like reindeer and elves as they melt in the summer swelter in front of a mound of fake fiberglass snow.

But what can I say? I'm an old-fashioned sort of guy.

Oh, and -- Bill Murray aside -- I am sick to death of modern adaptations of A Christmas Carol. In fact, the original is pissing me off pretty well, too.

You've all been duly warned.

-J.

Comments

reader said…
We have become incompatible. Two years ago I started a general letter and change it a bit with the ease of word processing. I sent out gorgeous cards with the letter and two photos, the middle child's law school graduation and one of DH and me in front of the Great Wall. Yes it is mass production but it is still the thought that counts.
Poppy Buxom said…
My, goodness. Somebody got out of the wrong side of bed this morning.

About Christmas cards, or the lack thereof--Christmas cards are like telegrams. Once popular, nay, ubiquitous, the telegram has been supplanted by the cheap long-distance telephone call.

I'm afraid that just as you are pretty much alone with your attachment to a well-stropped razor, you are alone in your attachment to the Christmas card.
It's a hidebound reactionary thing.

In an age of emails, cheap long distance, and cheap airfare, who really needs Christmas cards littering the mantel?

People pretend they're too busy to send Christmas cards, but this is what I think happened: everyone realized that Christmas cards suck. So they stopped sending them.

The only cards I'm really glad to receive are from people I really like and rarely see. And those had better have a photograph, or a note of some kind. A mass-produced letter is better than a card with a snowman on it that says "Season's Greetings from the Buxoms."
Badger said…
My BIL (one of the ones I like) has informed me that next year, there will be roast pig at the family Christmas shindig. I can't wait. He showed me several photos of the roasting apparatus he's building and everything, because he knew that I, of all people, would be duly impressed.
shula said…
I received a group letter, not 5 minutes ago.

Thank you for explaining my disappointment. It was bewildering.
BabelBabe said…
joke, dear man, go have a drink or something, ok? sheesh, poppy is right. wrong side of the bed.

i LOVE the photo cards - see how much everyone's grown, etc. but does this mean i should remove your email from my christmas e-card? tell me now...before i mortally offend you : )
reader said…
One additionala thing about the group letter is that I was handwriting the same stuff to almost everyone and after the 20th or so time, my handwriting was terrible. At least something typewritten is more legible. Also of the 120 cards that leave my home 100 are A list and the rest are B. Anyone worth postage really deserves an A card.

My college roommate sent me an oragami Santa in her card. How cool is that!
Joke said…
Oh, you are WAY nicer than I am.

Way.

-J.
Poppy Buxom said…
Yeah, reader. Enough with the niceness! We're here to learn how to act like jerks.

Because that is What Christmas Is All About, Charlie Brown.

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