It ain't much, but it's all I have

Dear Internet,

I know what you're tempted to say and I preemptively reply: "Take what you can get and be damned glad you're getting anything."

I spent my evening planning our Spring Break trip. It turns out that Poppy's kids -- Happy Birthday, Poppette*! -- and mine have the same Spring Break for the first time ever. So, instead of them coming 78 states to visit us, or we traveling 78 states to see them, we're both traversing 62 and 58 states, respectively to meet up in Disneyland.

Which is one of our favorite places, ever. In fact, it was the site of our first-ever Group Togetherness Voyage back in August of '02. All of the four offspring had baby teeth. Now, three of them have orthodontia.

Disneyland with the Buxoms is a lot of fun. Partly because, c'mon, it's Disneyland. Partly because, c'mon, it's the Buxoms. Partly because we haven't seen either -- let alone both -- in forever. Well, OK, around Easter 2006, we got Buxomized for a day or so. But still.

Anyway, the extremely lovely and wildly gracious Poppy emailed me her detailed travel plans and I, being the Hell of a guy I am, decided to adapt whatever plans we make to hers, to maximize face time and all that.

Interestingly enough, we don't travel similarly, at least not to Disney theme parks. The basic difference can be summed up as follows: Would you rather have a coma (Buxoms) or go on the Bataan Death March (Us) ?

But before we can do any of that Bataan Death Marching, we need to get there. So here's the general problem: variables.

We can travel there on one of two days (Day X & X+1), return on one of two days (Day Y & Y+1), fly out of Airport One or Airport Two, land at one of SEVEN possible airports, pay for the airfare (if it's cheap enough) with actual funds or (if it's not) with Frequent Flier miles on two airlines. These idiotic travel websites do not let you ask:

"I'd like to fly from this metropolitan area to that metropolitan area (I don't care which airport) arriving on Day X or X+1 and leaving Day Y or Y+1."

You scoff. You think it can't possibly be so. But it is.

So that's what I spent my evening doing. See? Told ya.

-J.

* Poppette christened me "Joke" way back when.

Comments

Kim said…
This is the whole part of your personality I just don't get. I mean, the manual car thing, the proper shaving paraphernalia, the love of a good suit...

and then you all go to Commercialismland wearing matching outfits.

You are nothing if not enigmatic.
Kim said…
You were also the person who dispelled my longheld but completely unsubstantiated belief that only tourists go to Disneyland.
blackbird said…
American Express my dear.
One phone call, all questions answered.
Joke said…
I don't do phone calls. (But I'll check their site...thanks!!)

-J.
BabelBabe said…
i opt for coma. we should NEVER EVER vacation together, if the situation were ever to arise, however unlikely. especially as I have long been on record as preferring Chinese water torture to Disney anything.
olivespearls said…
Well, I totally get it. People don't realize what a classy place Disneyland is, and how very little it has in common with the monstrosity that is Disney World. It's where LB and I went on our first date, and on MLK,Jr. day, no less. Have a great time!

Jen
shula said…
It's all Greek to me.
Joke said…
BabBab, I see where you're getting confused. You think we go to Theme Parks to have a vacation.

No.

A vacation is (for us) the beach. Slushy fruity beverages laced with spirituous liquors, and the children "playing WTF over there" if, indeed, they have journeyed in our company.

This is a TRIP. We are going somewhere to do things. We have to ride the X, ride the Y, see Show Z. That sort of thing.

Compounding the ease of it all is being on Eastern Time. If we sleep to what our body clock says is an indulgent 11am, it's actually only 8am in California, meaning we can move like medicated manatees and still be early.

I make no effort to evangelize on Disney matters. In fact, I wish more people -- especially those in line ahead of us -- held your views.

-J.

PS Kim, the reasons why I revel in most aspects of Disneyishness would take a month of posts to address. The short answer is that I am JUST old enough to dimly remember Walt Disney, and much of his ouvre wound up shaping my childhood.

And I am clearly a 10 year old at heart.
Poppy Buxom said…
BabBab, here's a little secret: Joke never takes vacations. He talks a good game about slushy fruit drinks and the beach, but does he do it? No, he does not. Even when he heads to Naples supposedly to relax, he's hitting the outlets or buying huge, Fred Flinstone-sized slabs of meat take to the other side of Florida. With him it's go, go, go. It exhausts me just to write about it.

We're good for two rides and some walking around and then it's back to the hotel room to rest until dinner.

Joke, you're not allowed to drop little pearls of French into your blog entries unless you can spell them correctly. Oeuvre = body of work

ouvre = a mangled version of the French verb signifying "to open"

You're welcome.
Poppy Buxom said…
I mean, honestly. You don't find me tossing snippets of Spanish into my blog entry with gay abandon, mangling the language and setting people's teeth on edge. Ay carumba!
Joke said…
Poppiest,

You're confusing the one of us who can't type with the one who can't spell.

-J.

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