This much I know.

"Whatever it is, I'm at fault."

These are words to live by when you are operating on the bleeding edge of social revolution, as a SAHD. Example.

TFBIM: (Staring at a motley array of furniture pieces and computer innards and wires.) NOS, where in God's name did you get that?
NOS: The dumpster*
TFBIM: What were you doing in the dumpster?
NOS: Dumpster diving. (He seems perplexed.)
TFBIM: (With that Lord-grant-me-patience look) Why were you dumpster diving?
NOS: Because that's the only way to get cool stuff out of the dumpster.

It's safe to say there will be zero need to worry this month about the possibility of a 3rd child.

-J.

* A "skip" to the rest of the Anglosphere

Comments

Badger said…
I assume the next question was directed at you, along the lines of, "What the hell were you doing while our child was wallowing in filth?" Or did she just clock you one?
shula said…
It's a Time-Honoured Tradition, in this part of the world.

They had to pass a law to make it illegal here, people were so enthusiastic.

To no effect.
Yes what were you doing?
Joke said…
He wasn't any more filthy than usual, so that helped my case. I think -- it's hard to tell from my vantage point -- she was mostly upset at the strange and motley array of junk he'd dragged home.

I believe he was planning on making an electronic butler.

-J.
h&b said…
Am I the only one freaking out thinking "RUSTY USED HIV-INFECTED NEEDLES AND SHARP RUSTY THINGS AND TETANUS INJECTIONS" ?

What about sharp jagged glass ? No ?

I think i'll add 'dumpster diving' to my long list of fears. Right under "CHILD BEING ABDUCTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT"

and

BEING MAULED BY WILD DOGS.
Joke said…
The first two and the last are very remote contingencies.

Hadn't thought about the third one, though.

-J.
Poppy Buxom said…
h&b: Yes, you were. Trust me. I've seen Joke's neighborhood. There would be no old syringes.

Mostly I'd expect to find old Starbucks cups, dead orchid plants, two-month-old copies of Cigar Afficianado and outdoor furniture that got mauled in the last hurricane.
Caro said…
Is your child related to mine? She just brought me home my second empty Lysol wipes tub from school. The teacher lets her have them.

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