And environmental cataclysm

As you may all recall (and you ought), one of the things which I was about to discourse upon was NOS and his vegetable patch.

But then, all of the forces of a Nature aggrieved at my carbon footprint (9½ E) fell upon us.

Ah, but I get ahead of myself.


A couple of weeks ago, NOS developed a like for the new Jamie Oliver TV show wherein said chef putters about his garden growing vegetables and then cooking with them. This struck NOS as sheer brilliance and he pestered me mercilessly asked if we could do the same. Yes, we grew the odd tomato and chile pepper, lots of herbs and until recently citrus, but NOS wanted something more substantial.

Problem was we had nowhere to put something more substantial, as TFBIM had occupied all the planters which ring our house with "foliage" and two rose bushes. (The rose bushes are safe, but my crystal ball has an aura of foreboding for the "foliage" and their lifespan.) So TFBIM's dad (he late of the construction industry) popped by and he cobbled together they built a smallish wooden planter.

They filled the planter with soil, planted red onions and cucumbers and placed it in the general vicinity of the tomato plantation (NOS calls this his "Greek salad" planter) and went on his merry way.

You should have seen him, Internet, tending his small homemade crate filled with dirt planter every day after school. Then came the environmental disaster of which totally unbiased and agenda undriven celebrity-climatologists have been warning us about for months: it rained like crazy yesterday. Well over 2" (5cm) fell upon the Fringe o' Paradise in 24 hours, a climatological event so rare most people would have to hark back to December 2007 in order to have a meaningful comparison.

While I'll leave it to others to discuss the impending Ice Age implications, I was more concerned for my little boy, who was crushed -- crushed, I tell you! -- when the rains toppled over his planter, spilling seed and earth upon the, er, back lawn. His experiment in sustainable agriculture was in tatters and imperiled, the planter being unable to sustain rain. We scooped the dirt as best we could and righted the planter, and propped it up with biggish rocks and a nearby brick. He was heartbroken, and tried not to show he was on the verge of tears.

So I did what dads do best (besides hollering at him to go shower and stop tracking mud inside the house) and we went to buy several new packets of heirloom seeds.

Photography to ensue.

-Mr. Natural

P.S. Remind me to tell you about going into the hydroponics store.


MsCellania said…
The Rain
In Spain
Falls Mainly
on de Plain.
I know His Pain.
Joke said…
Oh, the way he was acting, you would have thought we were facing one of those Communist-engineered famines.

Was the hydroponics store like a head shop? I can only imagine!
meggie said…
One would think, if there was any justice or plan to the world, the 'powers that be' would be so overjoyed to see a small child take an interest in growing something, instead of wreaking havoc & destruction of nature, at every turn, 'fate' might smile upon the child & encourage him! Hmmph.
shula said…
Let me guess.

You went to the hydroponic store and now he's growing weed in the roof, safe from the vagaries of nature.

Works for me.
Joke said…
Here's the background on the hydroponics epidose: We'd gone to EPCOT in Walt Disney World, and in the "Land" pavilion, we took the tour of the high-tech greenhouse tour, where they were growing assorted vegetables using high-tech techniques including, yes, hydroponics.

So, on the way back home he spied a hydroponics store and became unbearable until we stopped in. A relatively savvy adult would have realized in a picosecond that the staff and clientele were not there for the cultivation of vegetables.

In fact, the whole lot of them seemed (besides unbelievably stoned) surprised at our appearance there, their bloodshot eyes registering disbelief. They looked like sedated vampires roused from a reverie.

Fortunately, the starter rig was crazily expensive and so we walked out with empty hands.

Now he's looking for a composting kit.

Kim said…
between dogs and possums my kids know to not even bother

and the visit to the hydroponics store instantly conjured up images for me of when Butch and Marsellus stumble into the hardware (gun?) store in Pulp Fiction.

Bring out the gimp indeed.
Kim said…
oh, and hydroponics is to vegetables what low fat is the the rest of the food world.

I'm just saying.
BreadBox said…
I think that you should encourage him to raise livestock as well as vegetables --- perhaps build a small hillock in the yard so that the haggis can graze in a clockwise direction (their left legs being longer than their right from long years of scottish breeding).

Joke said…
I'll check with the Zoning Board. They may let us do it, if we can find sheep posh enough.


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