Friday, February 22, 2008

Fragrance update.

Piecing together the various suggestions below, I have figured out this much.

I took the spray bottle of eau-de-musk-ox which the very lovely and terribly gracious Poppy gave me for Christmas, and disassembled the spray mechanism as far as I could without breaking anything. Which wasn't very far, because all that's there is the atomizer button (the thingy you push to produce a fine mist with a 10'/3m scatter pattern) and this spouty thing that goes up the aforementioned button.

Now, if you push down on the unbuttoned spouty thing you get a semi-healthy squirt of manly fragrance. The problem is that I see no way (thus far) of pushing down the spouty thingy without blocking the spouty thingy. That is, I wind up with several fluid ounces of manly fragrance dribbling down my arm.

Putting the bottle upside down to push against something, besides potentially blocking the spouty thingy, produces nothing, because the feeder tube is then nestling in a pocket of air.

My intentions therefore are to find some sort of thin, flexible-ish but rigid-ish tube (the sort used in fish tanks suggests itself), that will affix SNUGLY (so I can't type, Poppy, sue me) over the spouty thing that I may push down without blocking the spouty thingy and which will prove a conduit to the manly fragrance, to be decanted into the little sterling flask. (Which I think -- I'm not sure -- Poppy also gave me several years prior.)

Details to ensue,

-J.

Posted by Joke at 8:10 AM

15 Comments

  • Blogger blackbird posted at 10:57 AM, February 22, 2008  
    You're killing me with this.
  • Blogger Poppy Buxom posted at 11:01 AM, February 22, 2008  
    Hey! I just spotted a new word. At least, it's new to me. And I want to make sure I'm using it correctly. How's this?

    Poppy's Husband: How did it go at choir rehearsal?

    Poppy: Oh--it went simply SUNGLY!
  • Blogger Poppy Buxom posted at 11:04 AM, February 22, 2008  
    Oh, and by the way--I realize I'm wonderful and everything, but I'll bet the generous spirit who gifted you with all these rare fragrances and sterling silver dressing room bibelots was one of your other girlfriends.

    I wouldn't put it past blackbird, for example. She never stops talking about you, so if you're getting anonymous mash emails--check the IP. It's probably her.

    Or badger.

    Kim is another possibility.
  • Blogger Joke posted at 3:22 PM, February 22, 2008  
    Poppiest,

    Alas, it was at "your deluxe apartment in the sky" where you very kindly gave me the Eau de Musk Ox.

    Let me know if you'd like for me to refresh your memory further.

    -J.
  • Blogger Joke posted at 3:24 PM, February 22, 2008  
    P.S. As I stated in the body of this piece, I can't be sure I received the tiny flask from you but what little circumstantial evidence there is, points in your general direction.
  • Blogger Badger posted at 5:23 PM, February 22, 2008  
    Okay (a) AS IF I'd send the likes of him a mash email -- all my mash emails to go Kim and Shula, and (2) what Blackbird said.
  • Blogger Poppy Buxom posted at 7:32 PM, February 22, 2008  
    Just kidding. I remember the eau de musk ox gifting as thought it were yesterday.

    And Stomper Girl sent you the wee flaskie.
  • Blogger Joke posted at 10:42 PM, February 22, 2008  
    Stomper is a very prescient lass, so much so that she sent me the wee Caswell-Massey flask several years before she knew I existed.

    -J.

    P.S. The bottle of Eau de Musk Ox, came from the Ox Lauren flagship store on Musk Avenue; with a "Tester - Not For Retail Sale" sticker underneath.
  • Blogger daysgoby posted at 8:52 AM, February 23, 2008  
    Could you get a glass etching tool and score the neck deeply enough to snap off the top without creating an industrial accident?

    Of course, if shaving (see post above) is that big of a problem....

    Jess, who has all the skin on her legs intact
  • Blogger Kim posted at 6:53 AM, February 24, 2008  
    Somehow I'm envisioning the Casa da Joke burning to the ground and the children starting to gnaw off their own limbs in hunger as this RIDICULOUS quest continues.

    I mean, GEESUS, don't you have washing to do, dinner to make, school fence mums to beguile?

    I can almost hear Mrs J's eyes rolling from here.

    (ps - I don't even buy my own husband these kinds of concoctions, so I'm hardly going to be purchasing them for others...)
  • Blogger Kim posted at 6:53 AM, February 24, 2008  
    and what's a mash email anyway?
  • Blogger Joke posted at 4:59 PM, February 24, 2008  
    News of my legendary multitasking skills have yet to reach Down Undah, I see.

    -J.
  • Blogger Poppy Buxom posted at 7:02 PM, February 24, 2008  
    Oh, that rascal Bunky.

    He probably sold me the tester and kept the last, for-retail-sale bottle for his own bad self. To wear to impress the ghost of C. Z. Guest.

    Kim: I have to buy eau-de-musk-ox for Joke because my husband won't let me buy fragrances, manly or otherwise, for him.
  • Blogger Caro posted at 7:04 PM, February 24, 2008  
    Huh? :-)
  • Blogger Major Bedhead posted at 11:19 PM, February 24, 2008  
    Get a sommelier to take the top off with a sword, like they do with champagne.

    Or, find some needle-nosed pliers and pry off the metal top that must be on the Eau de Musk Ox and decant into said sterling flask.
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