But, let's be honest, when a female discusses this -- up to a point, natch -- it's kind of alluring. Yes, even if the appearance of said blogger is mora akin to a fire hydrant with a moustache, it's alluring. Now, a veritable Adonis has a far more difficult task, with a far smaller margin of error. He too-openly declaims his enjoyment of a romp with Mrs. Adonis and, well, it can come off a bit creepy. (It does to me, and, after all, it's what I think that matters.)
It gets even more interesting when said blogger proclaims a crush, in public, involving (rather puzzlingly so) some celebrity whom few would have considered crushworthy. "I just melt when Joe Pesci/Michael Gambon/David Attenborough..." The polite thing to do is just chalk up such proclivities to now-banned artificial ingredients in baby food and move on.
But a blog is a confessional vehicle of sorts. One where a man may proudly stand and where he may declare that he, too, has crushes on people not many would have considered. Which is not to say those herein listed are not attractive, because they are. But attractiveness is only the very minimum requirement for admission.
So, as promised in no order whatever:
Davina McCall. She's benevolently shameless, and a bit silly, and a bit loud, and cute and funny*.
Bonnie Hunt, because she is relentlessly (something few people regardless of age or sex are) funny, and that is eminently crushworthy.
Nigella Lawson, not necessarily because I think her cooking is "all that" (although it is pretty decent) but rather because I could stand to have her read the phone book aloud night and day. Sometimes, when in a particularly lurid reverie, I imagine her breathily shouting in my ear something like "I'm arriving! I! Shall! Arrive!"
Jodie Kidd. A supermodel who'd rather drive race cars than develop an eating disorder? Nice.
Michelle Pfeiffer. Not in spite of her being 49. Because she's 49. This genius cheated on her and so she dumped him. True story.
Elle MacPherson. I have a thing for women who are fetching and wildly appealing while in their 40s. Oh, and she has an accent.
Uma Thurman. Yes, this is a surprise to me as well. But she looks much better now than she did in her mid-20s, which compensates a great deal.
Leelee Sobieski. Cute in armor, wields a sword tolerably well, and descended from the king of Poland who defeated the Muslims in the siege of Vienna, thereby sparing Europe from Islamofascism for about another 500 years, give or take.
Milla Jovovich. Cute in armor, wields a sword tolerably well, and descended from an anti-Communist Soviet dissident.
Keira Knightley. Shut up.
Lena Headey. She's aerodynamic and lissom, with something of an edge. Looks good in sepia-tone. The accent doesn't help her quite so much, and her vegetarianism definitely doesn't help so much.
Greta Scacchi. Another one of those "Dorian Gray" types.
Diane Lane. The thinking man's Jodie Foster.
Bettany Hughes. Who? She's (along with Victor Davis Hanson) one of the historians who served as advisors to 300. She's attractive and she's brilliant and she has an accent and she has a doctorate.
Barbara Lynch. Cute, superchef, patriotic and has a very Boston accent. (Little mascara wouldn't, y'know, kill her.)
Miranda Richardson. Brilliant actress and can do comedy, wherein she played the definitive Elizabeth I. Threatened Jeremy Irons with a butter knife in Lolita and looks good when she perspires. Also gets the Accent Bonus.
The one who played Penelope in Trading Places
Annabeth Gish. Granddaughter of Lillian Gish and just so damned cute.
Bernadette Peters. What lungs. (Wow, is she really 59?)
Elisabeth Shue. Good cheekbones and she's erudite.
...and there you have it.
* You'll notice this is a recurring theme.