Thursday, December 18, 2008

If they all jumped off a cliff...

In lieu of actual bloggery, here you are, something stolen from everyone

Here's how I changed the rules, a bit.

a) Things you've already done: bold
b) Things you want to do: italicize
c) Things you haven't done and don't want to: underline
d) Things you just haven't done and feel neutral about: plain font

1. Started your own blog.
You tell me.

2. Slept under the stars. Once. I'm still in therapy.

3. Played in a band. Not for too long, as my prime objective was to make a hit with girls. All those guitar lessons down the drain.

4. Visited Hawaii. To look at DIFFERENT palm trees?

5. Watched a meteor shower. Yawn.

6. Given more than you can afford to charity. Probably.

7. Been to Disneyland/world.
More than I can recall for WDW, 5x for DL.

8. Climbed a mountain. No, thanks. (I know Scripture tells us to flee for the mountaintops, but I haven't quite gotten the "flee!" command yet.)

9. Held a praying mantis. Um, why, exactly, would I want to hold an insect?

10. Sang a solo (in the shower).

11. Bungee jumped. No. That sounds like a test-run for suicidals.

12. Visited Paris. France, meh.

13. Watched a lightning storm at sea. Nah.

14. Taught yourself an art from scratch. Does hardcore chef-like cooking count?

15. Adopted a child.

16. Had food poisoning. Once. BAD.

17. Walked to the top of the Statue of Liberty.

18. Grown your own vegetables.

19. Seen the Mona Lisa in France. France. Meh.

20. Slept on an overnight train. Why did God create airplanes?

21. Had a pillow fight. I may have had a thought or two in that direction but, in my defense, I was young and foolish.

22. Hitch hiked. I once accepted a ride from a stranger, but I had run out of gas AND it was raining buckets.

23. Taken a sick day when you’re not ill. Eons ago.

24. Built a snow fort. I was a snow ninja; we traveled light.

25. Held a lamb. Only by the rack, chops or leg.

26. Gone skinny dipping. Once, I believe.

27. Run a Marathon. I've never been chased that far on foot.

28. Ridden in a gondola in Venice. That's for tourists.

29. Seen a total eclipse. Once. Meh.

30. Watched a sunrise or sunset. Mostly the latter.

31. Hit a home run.

32. Been on a cruise. Once. Not as good as "OK" but better than "meh."

33. Seen Niagara Falls in person. Once. Meh.

34. Visited the birthplace of your ancestors.

35. Seen an Amish community. No, but I've seen 'em at the Reading Street market in Philly.

36. Taught yourself a new language. Italian. Not spectacularly, but yeah.

37. Had enough money to be truly satisfied.

38. Seen the Leaning Tower of Pisa.

39. Gone rock climbing. Not even indoors.

40. Seen Michelangelo’s David. And Cellini's, too.

41. Sung karaoke. Not with any sobriety .

42. Seen Old Faithful geyser erupt. Why?

43. Bought a stranger a meal in a restaurant. Done the "sent a bottle of wine over" thing, though.
44. Visited Africa. Not sure if I really want to do this.

45. Walked on a beach by moonlight. It was Spring Break and I was returning to my car. So, yeah, technically.

46. Been transported in an ambulance. Fingers crossed.

47. Had your portrait painted. As a child. I am shuddering at the whole concept.

48. Gone deep sea fishing.

49. Seen the Sistine Chapel.

50. Been to the top of the Eiffel Tower in Paris. I'm sensing a pattern here. I mean, really...

51. Gone scuba diving or snorkeling. Snorkeling. Meh.

52. Kissed in the rain. It may have been raining, I don't check the Weather Channel.

53. Played in the mud. Um...no.

54. Gone to a drive-in theater. I used to love that when I was a kid. Then naked people started cropping up in movies sometime around the mid-1970s, and my parents immediately put a stop to that.

55. Been in a movie. I even directed it.

56. Visited the Great Wall of China.

57. Started a business. I'm all about the capitalism.

58. Taken a martial arts class. Judo, if'n you're scoring.

59. Visited Russia.

60. Served at a soup kitchen.

61. Sold Girl Scout Cookies. They don't let boys.

62. Gone whale watching. I'm not good with "nature."

63. Gotten flowers for no reason.
Um, no.

64. Donated blood, platelets or plasma. Just the blood.

65. Gone sky diving. I'll just wait for the plane to land on its own, thanks.

66. Visited a Nazi Concentration Camp. I did the the U.S. Holocaust Museum. That was pretty much as much as I could manage.

67. Bounced a check. In college.

68. Flown in a helicopter.

69. Saved a favorite childhood toy. Not for lack of trying.

70. Visited the Lincoln Memorial.

71. Eaten Caviar.

72. Pieced a quilt. Um, no.

73. Stood in Times Square. Only because I was lost.

74. Toured the Everglades. Involuntarily.

75. Been fired from a job. Quit but never fired.

76. Seen the Changing of the Guard in London. I like London, but this isn't on my list of things to do.

77. Broken a bone. My arm.

78. Been on a speeding motorcycle. We weren't going THAT fast, but yeah.

79. Seen the Grand Canyon in person. Nature. Meh.

80. Published a book. I've published tons of articles, but I've never published a book, yet.

81. Visited the Vatican. Next time on a pilgrimage.

82. Bought a brand new car. Harrowing. Never again.

83. Walked in Jerusalem.

84. Had your picture in the newspaper.

85. Read the entire Bible. Yes. Not in any sequential way, though. I also haven't read those bits that are in the Orthodox canon that didn't make it to the Catholic canon.

86. Visited the White House. Back when you could.

87. Killed and prepared an animal for eating. Only the piscine kind.

88. Had chickenpox. When I was 30. Just as I was a newlywed. (Imagine the fun.)

89. Saved someone’s life. I've jumped fully dressed into a swimming pool when NTS fell in, once.

90. Sat on a jury. Almost. I usually carry some book or periodical which clearly illustrates my hidebound and reactionary politics and -- somehow! -- I don't get chosen.

91. Met someone famous. Yes. Mostly they were nice, except for Sam Waterston who was utterly, inexpressively odious. Loathsome.

92. Joined a book club. Not a joiner, really.

93. Lost a loved one.

94. Had a baby. (Not directly.)

95. Seen the Alamo in person. Meh.

96. Swam in the Great Salt Lake. Why?

97. Been involved in a law suit. Usually when a company files Ch. 11 and I have to get my money from those giftcards that are now useless.

98. Owned a cell phone.

99. Been stung by a bee.

Posted by Joke at 8:54 PM

4 Comments

  • Anonymous Jen posted at 10:26 AM, December 19, 2008  
    I knew Sam Waterston would be odious! I feel so vindicated. I've never forgiven him for his hateful TD Waterhouse ads.
  • Blogger blackbird posted at 6:41 PM, December 19, 2008  
    There's a place, in the Reading Terminal Market, that has the MOST DIVINE turkey sandwich ever.
    But I can't remember the name of it.
  • Blogger Caro posted at 9:11 PM, December 19, 2008  
    Held a lamb was my favorite comment by far. They were all good but that made me laugh.
  • Blogger Joke posted at 11:54 PM, December 21, 2008  
    1- Sam Waterston was, as Chaucer noted, a Moste Compleat Pricke to NTS on a flight between MIA & LAX about 5 years ago. An uncharitable person would have derived much schadenfreude from the fact his career had reached such a point where he was flying coach. Not I, mind you, but an uncharitable person.

    2- I must now seek this out.

    3- I endeavor to serve humanity.

    -J.
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