Things one doesn't think about if one is from here and not from there.

This year, in sharp contradistinction to the last few, I didn't have the opportunity to fly towards wintry climes to confer* with the northerly clientele.

Which worked out very well in one respect. I missed the global cooling everyone has been carping about since 1975 manifesting itself with ridiculously low temperatures. Which is good because I have a problem with my overcoat.

A problem, I assure you, strictly of my own making.

Mind you, it's a terrific overcoat. Well made, lovely Harris tweed, warm, durable, timelessly styled.

But it barely fits me.

Not for the reasons one might assume -- although there is a trace element of that -- but because I am foolish and naive.

Y'see, when I realized that I would have to trudge in temperatures far cooler than those commonly seen in the Fringe O' Paradise while the outer man was arrayed in a professional manner, it dawned on me that I couldn't very well traipse into highrise office buildings and posh boardrooms wearing my Shackletonesque parka over the refined gentlemen's apparel. I needed a proper overcoat.

So I went and tried on a few one summer day -- figuring this'd be the way to get the very best prices. Only I went shopping attired in the way I normally go when it's 98F/438C: in shorts and a t-shirt.

The upshot? The coat which drapes and fits regally when I wear but a t-shirt feels, when I am in a suit, like I am in a nest of boa constrictors who are all tripping on ecstasy.

So now it's off to eBay.

-J.

* They didn't need me face to face to know everything had imploded and the best advice would be to flee to the hills with nonperishable foodstuff and firearms.

Comments

Stomper Girl said…
I can't believe you could even try on an overcoat in 48 degree heat. We had a 47 degree day here recently and everyone just laid around like lizards on rocks. I think you have conversion wrong though, 98 sounds more like 38-ish to me. [end pedantry] Either way, you were brave to put a coat near you.
Joke said…
Ooops. Typo.

-J.
My float said…
Thank goodness for ebay.
and there I was thinking it was a joke about doing stupid conversions because the US insists on being difficult.

I know you're not back and things are still not good but my GOODNESS is it lovely to have you back.

Surely you have something about N1S and his schooling to engage us with, perhaps an incident with those bizarre friends of yours? A dinner? A dish of monumental success?
Joke said…
I'm shaking the rust off. Gradually.
shula said…
The fact that you make such a basic sartorial error emphasises the extent to which you have been affected by current economic pressures.

You could always save it for NOS.

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