I've said it before, and I'll say it again.

Why do people have friends whose opinions they request and then disregard?

What is the correct protocol for when you are throbbing to say "You idiot! I TOLD you!" and just might have an embolism if you do not?

Here's the thing.

There are people, say a friend of yours (and I know that you know several just like this) whom we'll christen X, who express an interest in someone else (we'll call this specimen, Y). You tell X this is an unwise move, which is echoed by all the other friends and heartily seconded by all of X's family. X then starts dating Y. You try to dissuade X, as does X's family and all of X's friends. X and Y get engaged, and you desperately warn X, as do all of the above people and finally X and Y get married. You hang out at the bar and commiserate with X's friends and family wondering what the Hell X sees in Y.

In a movie, this would all lead* to a happily ever after. In real life, you know what happens. Cheating, divorce, acrimony, custody battles and, the one that drives me apoplectic, "I never knew Y was like that." or "Y changed after we got married."

Um, no.

Y was always like that, and everyone could readily tell Y was like that and, furthermore, we all spent 18 months telling, as bluntly as we could, that Y was exactly the sort of person you discovered to be $50,000 in legal fees later.

Moral of the story: If your best friend, your friends, you parents, siblings, cousins, aunt, uncles and inlaws all tell you Y is a trainwreck waiting to marry maybe, just maybe, you should listen and save yourself and your kid(s) a ton of aggravation and heartache.

Trying my bloody hardest to NOT thwack someone on the head with a heavy tome,

-J.

* Or two shepherds in Wyoming being unable to quit each other, but I digress.

Comments

Frogdancer said…
That's funny because it's true.

(Saw CSI miami and thought of you.)
reader said…
People never change and even if they ask for advice, they really don't want it.
You know, the next stage of this is when you have kids and you cry, 'no-one ever tells you about this stuff'. This stuff being the bodily fluids you never ever need nor want to handle/see/clean-up, the WHINGING, the WHINING and so on and so forth.

The thing is, they do. All the time. We just don't hear it because it has no relevance.

Clearly Y was good at giving head and that blinkered X to everything else.

Two shepherds in Wyoming. *snort*
daysgoby said…
....with a quivering lip....'Oh! But I thought I could CHANGE him!'

No. Nonononononononononono.
Caro said…
Love or lust is blind and deaf. You tried the best you could.

Popular Posts