Thursday, September 23, 2010

Well, it's a start.

After much effort, toil, angst, deliberation and frenetic Craigslist-surfing...I managed to get the very first component towards my (eventual) Tiki habitat. I managed to buy a bar and (I think) a pretty bloody nice one at that. It has only a couple of tiny dings and chips, but nothing that even someone as manually unskilled as I can't set right. Those teeny flaws aside, it's practically new.

Below is the "overall view" of the beast.
It weighs a TON...that slab o'granite top does not help and, even worse, makes it ridiculously top-heavy when all you have are one and a half men (me & NOS) to schlep it from the wifely minivan to the back room via the obstacle course of a hypercluttered garage, tall steps and rugged lawn terrain. Even worse when the grownup in the equation is supposedly down with the flu. But I am nothing if not committed.

Or, perhaps this is proof I should be.

I'm slightly embarrassed to state in public how little I paid for this thing. I spotted it on CL and it was being sold by a storefront church which seems to have been using it (probably donated, I'm guessing) as a hallway table. All of the other semi-acceptable bars I had seen on CL for the last year -- did I mention I was patient? -- were running in the $150-$300 range and this was not only FAR nicer, but also FAR cheaper. When I got there I was pleasantly surprised to see it more "tikiable" than I expected, with rattan-like panels and a workable color. It's supposedly a Bombay Co. model, but it has a Tommy Bahama-ish kinda feel to it. (See next)

Above is a closeup of the ornamental detail. (See what I mean about the Tommy Bahama thing?) So the question is this: How could I tikify those column-ish/rosette things (they look like they will pry off cleanly and relatively easily)? I was thinking of a shallow-ish set of wooden plaques with something (anything!) more tiki-ish, and possibly replacing those grooved columny details with something bamboo-y.

And, of course, placing a proper tiki dead center.

Any suggestions?

-J.

P.S. For those who are interested in following the progress of my eventual tiki habitat, be warned...this will go GLACIALLY slow, as I have very little in the way of time and even littler in the way of DIY skills and even littler than that in $$ my beloved wife will allow me to spend on such a project. Even if the projected space is the size of a medium phone booth.

Posted by Joke at 7:22 PM 7 comments

Thursday, September 16, 2010

The temptation, I must confess, was strong.

There are several things I was going to do with this entry, that I shan't. Oh, I was tempted alright. But the better angels of my nature prevailed and I relented.

I was going to saturate this posting with yet more videos of tropical mixology, as I am devoted to mixology and reside mere minutes north of the tropics. But the last one failed to ignite the imagination of the populace and even I cannot countenance such an additional cheery little bit of contrarian sadism.

There was something else I was tempted to do, but I've forgotten what it was. Mind you, I had decided to forego whatever the Hell it was before I forgot it, so I want this to be counted to me as righteousness and not feeblemindedness in my dotage.

I was also going to gently tweak The Girl Who Cried Blog (you know who) who started blogging again...and then started disappearing again. But then I remembered I haven't been exactly fulfilling my blogly duties ovah heah, and seeing as how I enjoy the view from my glass house, I relented.

So, instead, I will issue another dispatch from the ongoing progress -- an odd choice of words, really -- report on NOS's Adventures In Puberty. It would help, a little, if the words "The Ventril-O-Matic & Rusty" meant anything to you, but that's not critical. But if they do, then you'll nod even more sagely at the subsequent.

The one thing that is VERY new in NOS is -- and there's no getting around it -- the Petulance.

Example.

ME: Hey, NOS, remember to breathe today.
NOS: Oh, my GOD. I KNOW.

And the like.

To his credit, he does recognize (frequently) he has misfired and so he makes it a point to (slightly less frequently) apologize.

Part of the problem is that the rowing thing, so instrumental in leaving him so utterly bedraggled he was an unalloyed delight to be around, doesn't start until after golf. And golf, regardless of its myriad marvels and attributes, doesn't exactly drain the participant.

Participant drainage, of course, being the ultimate goal of this enterprise.

So, in the meantime we muddle through.

Oy, gevalt.

-J.

P.S. Here is a tropical cocktail video.

Posted by Joke at 8:54 AM 4 comments

Thursday, September 09, 2010

What'd I tell ya?

Tiki Now! at Tales of the Cocktail 2010 from Lush Review on Vimeo.



Well worth the hour-thirteen out of your life.

-J.

Posted by Joke at 1:19 PM 0 comments

Thursday, September 02, 2010

Hubris breeds nemesis.

Assiduous readers of this blog (both of you) during the halcyon days of the madcap 2004ish-2007ish and during the somewhat more serious semi-postapocalyptic post-2008 world are due, I believe, something of an explanation.

I had intended for that explanation to be issued more-or-less nowish, but it will have to keep.

Y'see, Internet, I didn't and don't want to be the sort of blogger who'd comment on his spleen (or gall bladder, I'm not choosy) mid-surgery. I want to say "Oh, yes, [internal organ of choice] blew up, but all is fine now."

I thought (as I had thought in several previous instances) that the New Important Project was about to sprout forth its oft-promised fruits and, with the first of said fruits in hand and the inevitable bumper crop behind me, I could sit down and tell you The Tale of how it all went base-over-apex, but it finally righted itself.

There had been some developments in that area to buoy me in the direction of thinking the day of the spellbinding narrative was soon upon me. I'd put a decanter of something worthy at my elbow, warm up both index fingers and start composing at the keyboard.

I'd spin a tale of blindness, shock, betrayal, family affection and love, craven depravity, resilience, perseverance, faith, loyalty, setback, ingenuity, and eventually, unequivocal triumph.

Then, of course, fires arose (again) that require my putting out (again) and which alters the schedule of my return to this blog as an amiable and carefree host. Notice I didn't say said return has been derailed. No. But, like a train in some 3rd World country it's been rescheduled for arrival.

Again.

You may, foolishly, think this has altered my sunny disposition. You'd be, foolishly, right.

That all said, I know things will be fine in the end.

I just wish the end would arrive when expected.

Posted by Joke at 3:33 PM 12 comments