WDW Report

The trip, which we employed as an excuse to schlep up to Orlando and hang with the Buxoms, was a pretty decent hit.

Normally, WDW is for us more of a military expedition than a vacation. Yes, that's my damage, but I'm in this family too, and thus we all suffer my weirdness equally.


The trip started off off wobblingly when I called to make reservations. The Buxoms would be staying at the Polynesian and we wanted to do likewise. So I called and checked out the prices and the person on the phone, who had evidently learned English the weekend prior, told me the price per night was Tree Hawn Raid In Fie Dallas.

Ouch.

So I asked about some others in the vicinity and they are booked solid. The Wilderness Lodge, however, is available at Tao Hawn Raid In Nigh Tan Dallas. Well, it's way more than I, legendary Cheap Bastid To The Stars, am willing to pay normally but a) it's only a couple of nights and b) we are really going up to see the Buxoms more than we are Mickey Mouse. So what the Hell, right?

It turns out that Tao Hawn Raid In Nigh Tan Dallas is $290, not $219. For the $15/night diff we coulda bunked within a few feet of the Buxoms. Feh. So that was not a good sign. Then, on the day of departure -- immediately after dressing* at warp speed -- we ran into traffic. Those of you who reside in metropolitan areas which were developed before the advent of the automobile will not really know what I am talking about, but it was horrible. Normally this trip takes (door-to-door) 3.5 hours. We had driven 2 hours and barely gone 50 miles. At 3pm, not rush hour. Ther was rain, there was construction, there were accidents. Mind you, Poppy had her own troubles with which she'll regale you.

Anyway, a good two hours behind schedule we arrived at Poppy's hotel JUST IN TIME for our dinner reservations. We sat and chatted amiably for a long while and I inhaled a Mai Tai which might've been delicious had I taken the time to actually taste it. I may have even accidentally eaten poultry on Friday which is a Papist Lenten no-no. But tears now are of no avail. Dinner arrived and was yummy and promptly inhaled as well.

The next morning we woke up and arrived to get our WDW annual passes. I had outright lied to TFBIM and told her the park would open at 8am (each day one park opens early for guests who stay on-site) because I know she's, um, not at her quickest first thing and even at her quickest it's not, y'know, quick. So we were in line to get our tickets by around 8:35am and into the park in the nick of time.

The Buxoms had paperwork issues (Poppy'll explain) and were delayed but caught up with us around Splash Mountain, which Master Buxom and NOS rode while Poppy and I driveled utterly without care. Stop and ponder that throughout a flume/rollercoaster hybrid ride, two people can just chat goofily and unconcernedly. We rode a couple more things, went to lunch which was pretty good and where both Poppette and NTS behaved, which is akin to Stevie Wonder solving a Rubik's Cube in 4 moves: something that only happens by miraculous chance...a planetary alignment kinda thing.

Eventually, we meandered back to the Poly for some well-deserved refreshment and, other than NTS threatening -- pretty damned effectively, too -- a meltdown unless allowed to swim all was well. We had dinner, saw distant fireworks, saw the aquatic parade, took our huggy-huggy, mwah-mwah leave of the Buxoms who had an early day in the opposite direction and scampered off to sleep.

Now, Internet, you know that I am not much of a sleeper. But I was dog tired. In fact, it was midnight when I got out of the shower and 2am when I realized I hadn't rinsed off my conditioner. I had to switch pillows, but my hair is super manageable and silky soft.

And that was our trip.

-J.

* We array ourselves in matching Disney garb so as not to get lost, etc. Shut up.