"It's a Christmas miracle!"
Christmas Eve dinner was
[drumroll]
NOT PARTICULARLY UNPLEASANT.
My aunt, who prompts my mom to soaring heights of stress, behaved herself.
Cousin S, who invariably gets into arguments way over her head, kept a civil tongue in her head.
Cousin M, who is Queen* of Dysfunction, just sat there and made small talk.
My parents, absent the stimulus, just chit-chatted.
My FiL, who normally is absolutely certain any children within 50ft. (17m) of him are certain to find something fatally dangerous unless he intervenes at great personal effort, just sat down and talked with the grownups.
My MiL, who normally chimes in with outrageous non-sequiturs, didn't.
Uncle E, went off to puff on ciggies half the night.
The roast pork (a hunka Kurobuta which utterly rocked everyone's world, and only $4/lb!!) was a hit. No fistfights** broke out over whose turn it was to say Grace. My normally New Age flakily heretical cousin and her husband went to Midnight Mass with us.
There were a few skids here and there, but overall, it was quite tolerable.
Now, let's see what Santa's doneto for me.
-J.
P.S. Biggest, most miraculous thing? NTS is still asleep. On Christmas morning. At 8:15 a.m.
* No, really. You guys have NOTHING that can compare with her. Don't even try.
** This was years ago. More on that later.
[drumroll]
NOT PARTICULARLY UNPLEASANT.
My aunt, who prompts my mom to soaring heights of stress, behaved herself.
Cousin S, who invariably gets into arguments way over her head, kept a civil tongue in her head.
Cousin M, who is Queen* of Dysfunction, just sat there and made small talk.
My parents, absent the stimulus, just chit-chatted.
My FiL, who normally is absolutely certain any children within 50ft. (17m) of him are certain to find something fatally dangerous unless he intervenes at great personal effort, just sat down and talked with the grownups.
My MiL, who normally chimes in with outrageous non-sequiturs, didn't.
Uncle E, went off to puff on ciggies half the night.
The roast pork (a hunka Kurobuta which utterly rocked everyone's world, and only $4/lb!!) was a hit. No fistfights** broke out over whose turn it was to say Grace. My normally New Age flakily heretical cousin and her husband went to Midnight Mass with us.
There were a few skids here and there, but overall, it was quite tolerable.
Now, let's see what Santa's done
-J.
P.S. Biggest, most miraculous thing? NTS is still asleep. On Christmas morning. At 8:15 a.m.
* No, really. You guys have NOTHING that can compare with her. Don't even try.
** This was years ago. More on that later.
Comments
After the conversation I just had with my mother, I need to know that we're just normal...
Must hear more!
We took my Crazy Uncle to Lessons and Carols. He comments loudly after every carol.
"I can't believe you brought me here."
"THERE ARE NINE CAROLS???"
"I'm getting you back for this".
yes. lovely evening. I was hiding.
Merry Christmas Joke!
John woke us up at 6:30, but the upside is we've been done for hours.
The in-laws are gone. I've been sitting around reading and drinking tea. Maybe I'll take a nap, then go for a walk.
See you soon!
Sure!
The most important thing to keep in mind about the former is that a fistfight broke out over who was going to say Grace.
Stop and ponder that awhile.
-J.
I CAN NOT wait to read the post about the Queen of Dysfunction, and especially the fist fight over grace. I bet I could curl your hair with my dad's family and their wild tales of woe.
Anyway, Blessings to you and yours.
Merry Christmas!
Don't forget my (pirate) family Christmas motto, yo.
Your grandmother has also likely never used birth control pill snap-cases as Christmas gift packaging. Or set fire to the kitchen in 1997 and 2003.
Sure, she's the love spawn of Dr. Mengele and the MArquis de Sade, but that's not what we're discussing.
-J.