This too shall pass, unless, of course, it doesn't.
With all the domestic squabblage flying around these days, it should come as no surprise when two of TFBIM's our friends call it quits.
Even whenI can't stand the people involved it's TFBIM's friends, breakups make me very, very uneasy. Give me a sense of dread.
Here's what I've noticed:
One half of Couple AB: "I'm livid with A. Not talking to A at all. Do you know what s/he did? S/he went out and..."
The above is nothing worthy of immediate concern.
It's when there is no "Do you know what s/he did? S/he went out and..." that I get worried. That's because when it's something vexing or irritating or even garden-variety-infuriating, one generally wishes to vent such. When, in lieu of the venting all one hears is the deafening roar of sullen, smoldering wrath...run.
In this case weve been getting those terse "Nothing." replies to our general questions, so in hindsight it's no surprise they should have come out, attorneys blazing with both barrels. "Nothing!" I think, signals a sort of corrosive, cumulative, degenerative breakdown.
Not happy.
-J.
Even when
Here's what I've noticed:
One half of Couple AB: "I'm livid with A. Not talking to A at all. Do you know what s/he did? S/he went out and..."
The above is nothing worthy of immediate concern.
It's when there is no "Do you know what s/he did? S/he went out and..." that I get worried. That's because when it's something vexing or irritating or even garden-variety-infuriating, one generally wishes to vent such. When, in lieu of the venting all one hears is the deafening roar of sullen, smoldering wrath...run.
In this case weve been getting those terse "Nothing." replies to our general questions, so in hindsight it's no surprise they should have come out, attorneys blazing with both barrels. "Nothing!" I think, signals a sort of corrosive, cumulative, degenerative breakdown.
Not happy.
-J.
Comments
I know that that's what happened when Tony and I split 12 years ago.
The only ones winning in swords' drawn scenarios is the attorneys. Who take great delight in riling up the pot, all in the name of 'representation'. I hope there is court-appointed counsel for their children, who are the biggest losers in such cases.
In divorce, I think the kids should get the house, all the inclusions and their old lifestyle (same school, camps, clubs, etc). The parents get separate apartments and visit the children, separately, in their old home. That way, it's the adults that are inconvenienced by their selfishness, not the children.
Of course, I don't get uneasy at these times. I go into mourning. Every man's divorce diminishes me.
When will people figure out that, if you've got kids, divorce is not the easy way out, that it complicates everything and hurts the kids in ways the parents can't imagine?
Unless one or both of the parents suffers from violent, uncontrolable mental illness, I say Grow the %&%$ up and be good to each other.
Sheesh.
Another part of it is "which friend will keep custody of us?" because in our experience, when a couple breaks up, one of them vanishes out of our lives.
Yet another aspect is something like the newsreel narrator when the Hindenburg went down. Something awful is going on and all you can do is feel bad.
Sheesh.
-J.