I recognize the symptoms, and I'm here to help.
I just got off the phone with a pal. He apologized for not having written in a while but he explained his iMac had suffered the second blown fetzerplex demodulator* in 6 months and he had just gotten the beast back from the Apple Store.
This brings a grand total of 5 people within my immediate circle who have had recurring problems with their Macs. However, they all allege they love the damned things. I have my theory, though, and that theory states these people don't so much love Macs as love the fact they are not Windows machines. To a person, they, of course, vehemently deny it.
But as I ruminated further on the matter, I recognized the thought process of the average Mac lover. It reminded me of the sort of car freaks who love old British sports cars. The old Jag-you-are, Triumph, MG cars, y'know. Their owners found many charms to these cars, but while such a thing is subjective (albeit quite valid), these cars also brought forth many problems...which is not. The cars would rust even if submerged under a foot of oil. The electrical systems range from the really strange to the outright nightmarish; so much so that John Lucas (the vendor responsible for such systems) was given the title "Prince of Darkness"**. The carburetors are impossible to keep synchronized and the complexity of the transmission's overdrive features would make Rube Goldberg turgid with arousal.
When things inevitably fall apart, you have to take it to a specialist, and pay $75 for what would be a $12 bit and wait an eternity. Road and Track had a brief quote to summarize the Britcar experience: "Don't drive a British car to work every day and expect to keep your job."
But in spite of the fact these cars are a blinding migraine to maintain, they have hardened partisans who will brook no disagreement. "These cars are great" they will say and then launch into a rosy bit of narration about a particularly excellent drive in one, punctuated by the fact nothing broke, fell off, shorted out or broke, shorted out and fell off. (Much like when a Mac user tell you s/he is burning a CD of songs from his/her iPod via cellphone.)
Part of the reason most adherents choose these cars with their appalling reliability issues (or, to be brutally honest, why I choose mine with their bewildering array of ergonomic issues***) is because they fit a lifestyle or one's preconception of one's lifestyle. When Apple ran that Brave New World/1984 Mac ad at the Super Bowl, they knew what they were doing. They said the Mac was the computer for "the rest of us" but they really meant was that here was a computer "not just for anybody, but for us." The fact Mac has such a piddly share of the market is proof of this. It was utterly brilliant. By coyly dropping the fact you're a Mac user, you provide the world with information about you. You'll notice that the ONLY time an author**** mentions the computer s/he used to write the book, is when said author used a Mac. What was the last time you read: "This book written and composed using a Hewlett-Packard Xenobius 6900, running Windows XPPro Plus."? You haven't and won't.
So Mac users of the world, unite. You have brethren under the skin whenever the Austin-Healy club meets like minded souls every time a Sunbeam Alpine has to have rust repaired. You didn't just buy a computer (or a car) but a whole lifestyle. And sometimes that's worth more than all the objective criteria anyone could bring up.
* Or whatever the fuck it was. While I faked it nicely, the whole explanation met with my apathy and ignorance, for I neither know nor care, what Apple bit chomped the big one yet again.
** Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because John Lucas makes the refrigerators.
*** Good luck trying to jump start my car, open the doors or trunk, lower the windows, or adjust the air conditioning without having read the voluminous--and charmingly translated--owner's manual.
**** And this motley bunch ranges from Alton Brown to Rush Limbaugh.
This brings a grand total of 5 people within my immediate circle who have had recurring problems with their Macs. However, they all allege they love the damned things. I have my theory, though, and that theory states these people don't so much love Macs as love the fact they are not Windows machines. To a person, they, of course, vehemently deny it.
But as I ruminated further on the matter, I recognized the thought process of the average Mac lover. It reminded me of the sort of car freaks who love old British sports cars. The old Jag-you-are, Triumph, MG cars, y'know. Their owners found many charms to these cars, but while such a thing is subjective (albeit quite valid), these cars also brought forth many problems...which is not. The cars would rust even if submerged under a foot of oil. The electrical systems range from the really strange to the outright nightmarish; so much so that John Lucas (the vendor responsible for such systems) was given the title "Prince of Darkness"**. The carburetors are impossible to keep synchronized and the complexity of the transmission's overdrive features would make Rube Goldberg turgid with arousal.
When things inevitably fall apart, you have to take it to a specialist, and pay $75 for what would be a $12 bit and wait an eternity. Road and Track had a brief quote to summarize the Britcar experience: "Don't drive a British car to work every day and expect to keep your job."
But in spite of the fact these cars are a blinding migraine to maintain, they have hardened partisans who will brook no disagreement. "These cars are great" they will say and then launch into a rosy bit of narration about a particularly excellent drive in one, punctuated by the fact nothing broke, fell off, shorted out or broke, shorted out and fell off. (Much like when a Mac user tell you s/he is burning a CD of songs from his/her iPod via cellphone.)
Part of the reason most adherents choose these cars with their appalling reliability issues (or, to be brutally honest, why I choose mine with their bewildering array of ergonomic issues***) is because they fit a lifestyle or one's preconception of one's lifestyle. When Apple ran that Brave New World/1984 Mac ad at the Super Bowl, they knew what they were doing. They said the Mac was the computer for "the rest of us" but they really meant was that here was a computer "not just for anybody, but for us." The fact Mac has such a piddly share of the market is proof of this. It was utterly brilliant. By coyly dropping the fact you're a Mac user, you provide the world with information about you. You'll notice that the ONLY time an author**** mentions the computer s/he used to write the book, is when said author used a Mac. What was the last time you read: "This book written and composed using a Hewlett-Packard Xenobius 6900, running Windows XPPro Plus."? You haven't and won't.
So Mac users of the world, unite. You have brethren under the skin whenever the Austin-Healy club meets like minded souls every time a Sunbeam Alpine has to have rust repaired. You didn't just buy a computer (or a car) but a whole lifestyle. And sometimes that's worth more than all the objective criteria anyone could bring up.
* Or whatever the fuck it was. While I faked it nicely, the whole explanation met with my apathy and ignorance, for I neither know nor care, what Apple bit chomped the big one yet again.
** Q: Why do the British drink warm beer? A: Because John Lucas makes the refrigerators.
*** Good luck trying to jump start my car, open the doors or trunk, lower the windows, or adjust the air conditioning without having read the voluminous--and charmingly translated--owner's manual.
**** And this motley bunch ranges from Alton Brown to Rush Limbaugh.
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