Uh oh.
Today I finalized the process of getting my new-to-me car shipped down. If it all works according to plan, it ought arrive in about a week.
Now, this car is not, like my other previous cars, in sterling, better-than-new shape. I mean, it's OK, but it needs a lot of little things. Here's where the "uh-oh" comes in, though. For reasons beyond the scope of this blog, I have embarked in the daunting task of restoring it. Not merely restoring it to a pristine state, but restoring it to European specifications. To those of you who have some affinity for cars: Don't sit there with that glazed, slack-jawed look on your face. To this who do not: Suffice it to say those readers who have some affinity for cars are sitting there with a glazed, slack-jawed look on their faces, stunned and disbelieving.
The task at hand is especially difficult for the following reasons:
1- We're talking about a car produced in very small numbers.
2- We're talking about a car imported into the USA in even smaller--ridiculously so--numbers.
3- We're talking about getting pieces that were never imported by the factory into the USA.
Some of the work has already been done, such as getting the European engine, which is almost, but not exactly, like the USA engine. It gets better mileage, has a LOT more power and lower emissions; the brain-damaged EPA processes*, howe'er, made it damned near impossible for this engine to come here.
How these engines (there is a 3 engine minimum) got here is a whole blog unto itself. Suffice it to say that Signore Gallizia, procurer of engines is a master not only of engines, but also of the equivocal answer and time delay, to the extent that from the moment I placed the order and paid for the engine, the Euro went from $1.18 to $1.39. So those nine fuckin' months weren't a total waste of my time. At least the engines are here. Except that mine was missing some bits.
These bits have been found and are winging their way here from:
New Zealand
Australia
Germany
Argentina
Italy
Scotland
Holland
Remember, we're still only dealing with the engine. We still have to address transmission, suspension, paint, body (oh, yeah, the hood on the Euro models was different), wheels, electrical system, air conditioning (most Euro models didn't have it), the folding convertible top, the folding convertible top's frame, the hardtop (most Euro models had it and good luck finding it), the interior (In Europe the interior was usually all Connolly leather and Wilton wool carpeting, whereas in the land of Le Archi D'Oro, vinyl and nylon held sway) and finally all the assorted miscellaneous trim bits.
What am I in store for? I'm guessing 1 year of schlepwork and sticker shock. If you spend any time going to the various Concours/Concorso type events (Amelia Island, Pebble Beach, Greenwich, etc.) you will note that almost all the car owners are divorced. My wife being a pious woman, this is not a concern for me. Manslaughter, however, is.
As opposed to restoring a house, this will involve a cubic assload of work. For my readers who have not much affinity for cars this is equivalent to getting acceptable replacements for your makeup were all the components of your beauty regimen to be, quite suddenly discontinued. (To my car geek readers: This scenario is like having to find a NOS gas cap for the GTV-6 with the original key set. By tomorrow.) Now imagine if half of these acceptable replacements cost $500 an ampule or a pan or tube.
Oy is me.
-Joke
* The costs associated with getting a better, cleaner engine certified as USA compliant were simply not worth it to a small producer.
Now, this car is not, like my other previous cars, in sterling, better-than-new shape. I mean, it's OK, but it needs a lot of little things. Here's where the "uh-oh" comes in, though. For reasons beyond the scope of this blog, I have embarked in the daunting task of restoring it. Not merely restoring it to a pristine state, but restoring it to European specifications. To those of you who have some affinity for cars: Don't sit there with that glazed, slack-jawed look on your face. To this who do not: Suffice it to say those readers who have some affinity for cars are sitting there with a glazed, slack-jawed look on their faces, stunned and disbelieving.
The task at hand is especially difficult for the following reasons:
1- We're talking about a car produced in very small numbers.
2- We're talking about a car imported into the USA in even smaller--ridiculously so--numbers.
3- We're talking about getting pieces that were never imported by the factory into the USA.
Some of the work has already been done, such as getting the European engine, which is almost, but not exactly, like the USA engine. It gets better mileage, has a LOT more power and lower emissions; the brain-damaged EPA processes*, howe'er, made it damned near impossible for this engine to come here.
How these engines (there is a 3 engine minimum) got here is a whole blog unto itself. Suffice it to say that Signore Gallizia, procurer of engines is a master not only of engines, but also of the equivocal answer and time delay, to the extent that from the moment I placed the order and paid for the engine, the Euro went from $1.18 to $1.39. So those nine fuckin' months weren't a total waste of my time. At least the engines are here. Except that mine was missing some bits.
These bits have been found and are winging their way here from:
New Zealand
Australia
Germany
Argentina
Italy
Scotland
Holland
Remember, we're still only dealing with the engine. We still have to address transmission, suspension, paint, body (oh, yeah, the hood on the Euro models was different), wheels, electrical system, air conditioning (most Euro models didn't have it), the folding convertible top, the folding convertible top's frame, the hardtop (most Euro models had it and good luck finding it), the interior (In Europe the interior was usually all Connolly leather and Wilton wool carpeting, whereas in the land of Le Archi D'Oro, vinyl and nylon held sway) and finally all the assorted miscellaneous trim bits.
What am I in store for? I'm guessing 1 year of schlepwork and sticker shock. If you spend any time going to the various Concours/Concorso type events (Amelia Island, Pebble Beach, Greenwich, etc.) you will note that almost all the car owners are divorced. My wife being a pious woman, this is not a concern for me. Manslaughter, however, is.
As opposed to restoring a house, this will involve a cubic assload of work. For my readers who have not much affinity for cars this is equivalent to getting acceptable replacements for your makeup were all the components of your beauty regimen to be, quite suddenly discontinued. (To my car geek readers: This scenario is like having to find a NOS gas cap for the GTV-6 with the original key set. By tomorrow.) Now imagine if half of these acceptable replacements cost $500 an ampule or a pan or tube.
Oy is me.
-Joke
* The costs associated with getting a better, cleaner engine certified as USA compliant were simply not worth it to a small producer.
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