A preemptive strike on Seasonal Rants

Now that the holiday season is nearly at our throats, I took a careful look at my formalwear inventory. I started to notice my main formal workhorse, my tuxedo/evening suit is starting, after 12+ years of faithful (and embarrassingly active) duty, to give up the ghost. It will probably see me through the next year's worth of black tie events, but I really must start thinking of its replacement. So off I went to look.

Well, seems teh fashion pundits are right. The world of black tie has certainly devolved rapidly. First, I went to the Polo site, something of a default for me. Well, there's trouble in paradise. My current formal armor is a "Polo Purple Label" (Polo silhouette, but MTM) DB, peak lapel affair with forward pleated trousers which even feature a particularly neat watch pocket. I wanted something, if not exactly the same, of a similar spirit. Well, good luck to me.

First, the demimonde of formalwear is scrofulous with
}shudder{
notch-lapel abominations. Even Polo features it exclusively (!) on its website, compounding the sin by having adopted its Rob-Petrie-would-be-proud "Polo II" silhouette. Brooks Brothers is also among the sartorial traitors featuring only this notched excresence, but to make it rougher on themselves for when Judgment Day arrives, they feature not just the 1-button notched insult, but the 3-button miscarriage. If I wanted to look like Eminem's nephew at the prom, I sure as Hell wouldn't think to go to Brooks Brothers.

Ben Silver hedges its bets by having all three styles, acquiescing to the semi-lumpenprole zeitgeist infecting formalwear, but at least offering a pretty nice Aquascutum (in addition to its own house brand) peak SB job as halfway decent atonement. Jos. A. Bank, being something of a first cousin to Brooks Bros., offers both of the nauseating notch alternatives BB does, but like Ben Silver, atones by offering a pretty OK shawl SB and a decent peak DB. The pleated trousers are a bit too pimpitudinous (three pleats, too shallow and rearward) for my taste, though. (BB doesn't even SHOW their pleated trousers; in the picture which supposedly features it on the site, the mannequin has its jacket on...a bad omen.)

Paul Stuart, Dunhill and Oxxford have nothing on their sites. The Purple Label side of Polo.com was equally barren. This all seems like I will have to expend a not inconsiderable amount of shoe leather to physically inspect my current options. The least illogical option would entail flying up to NYC (where Oxxford, PS, RL and AF are all congregated) and that would solve the matter, only that, um, to be perfectly frank, I'm not all that crazy about NYC. Chicago is a good option, since it has Oxxford, PS and RL--where I have an "in"--but no AF. (Back when AF was affiliated with Saks, he'd do trunk shows at the major S5A stores. A couple of years back I had a golden opportunity when he was down at the Palm Beach S5A, but non-buyer's remorse is a useless emotion.)

The Palm Beach RL flagship has a full-on tailoring dept. But I am still unsure of whether I prefer the RLPL, AF or Oxxford silhouettes (and my memory of the PS silhouette is sufficiently dim to be useless). Lastly, I am generally disposed to the peak DB style, but have been thinking recently of a SB shawl. The problem being that with a shawl (assuming you can find one with a full enough lapel...ha!) a buttonniere buttonhole looks somehow...off, and it doesn't show a wing collar shirt to best advantage.

Feel free to add anything.

Thus endeth my ramble.

-Joke

P.S. Ignore the timestamp, I actually started this at 4ish a.m. between bursts of NyQuil-fueled torpor.