"The effrontery, sir, the damnably impudent cheek of it all."

Many of you, no doubt, are familiar with the "Steal This Look" concept as espoused by what passes these days for fashion magazines.

Well, it's one thing when you're the one exhorted to do the stealing. Quite another when it's your look which is the subject of larcenous suggestions. Exhibit A (photo) is a from a certain high-end menswear purveyor with retail locations scattered in the Best Places (y'know NYC, London, Paris, Rome...that sort of thing).

As Poppy will readily testify, the look encapsulated (minus coat, since I have enough sense to reside where coats are superfluous) by said photo is pure, unadulterated Joke. Besides the fact all individual components are truly snazzy, you'll note the subtle, sophisticated interplay of patterns and textures; the damn-near-imperceptible black & grey nailhead pattern of the suit against the subtle blue-on-blue check of the shirt, all highlighted by the "ruby port"/navy regimental necktie.

That's "me!"

Why are these people pilfering my look for profit? Especially when I see not a cent of that profit. God knows I'm as big a fan of profit as can be found, but one must be fair and share said profit with me. Especially since I had to ride out those hideous years when high-gorge near-Edwardian suits and monochromatic shirt'n'tie combinations were all the rage. Wasn't I steadfastly at the helm of the SS Timeless? Didn't I help navigate between the Scylla of Trendiness and Charybdis of Stodginess?

Isn't that worth a few ducats flung my way?

The prosecution rests.

-J.