"Today is Fathers' Day" or "You're imPOSSible!"
Have you seen that commercial for some cellular ("mobile" to my Britpals) phone company where some guy (Guy 1) arrives at another guy's (Guy 2) office to compare Fathers' Day gifts? The one where Guy 1 is sportin' a 5" wide purple tie with "#1 Dad" in twinkly pink rhinestones? And Guy 2 takes a picture of it with his snazzoid new cellphone and sends it to everyone? That one? Seen it?
Well, stop and consider for a moment that, if Guy 1's children were not of gift-purchasing age, it was Mrs. Guy 1 who likely plunked down coin for the hideous tie. This, of course is the part where the punchline "Well, I'm Guy #1" normally apears in thebetter sortof blog. I was inclined to use it, except that's not accurate. I'm NOT Guy #1. More like Guy #1.25-and-change.
I think it's a great testament to love to be married and still in love with someone who is a lousy-- or, at best--seriously impaired in the capacity of gift-giver.
What usually distinguishes the lousy gift-giver from the gift giver who has merely given the odd clunker are:
1- The utter inability to pay attention to what the giftee really enjoys
2- A vow (inevitably fruitless) to REALLY pay attention this time
We will not, for the moment, hold forth on the spectacular sort of lousy gift-giver. Such people are driven by a mordant, passive-aggressive streak that manifests itself in gifts of appalling cheapness or worse in gifts prefaced by "I know you don't have anything like this."* Let's leave that aside for now. Anyway, the mating of lousy gift-giver is normally rough, but is compounded when the other half of the couple is a PITA for whom to shop.
However, nobody is really impossible to shop for. Some giftees require greater sleuthing, attention and effort. This, of course, is were the lousy gifter goes off the cliff in a blaze of flaming splinters. An exercise to illustrate:
Person X collects pocket watches and loves Droopy. It is Person X's _5th birthday (one of those big, important ones). You are Person Y and wish to get Person X a particularly nice gift. What do you do?
1- Do a little bit of detective work to see what sort of pocket watches X likes and get X something to go with the collection or, if that's prohibitive, some accessory (a vintage bit of literature on the watch, etc.) thereto.
2- Find some cool, or hard-to-find, or whimsical (depending on X's outlook) Droopy collectible.
3- Find a pocket watch (or Droopy item) YOU think is nice which, naturally, X "will simply adore."
4- Buy X a Droopy pocket watch.
Another vexation for the giftee are gifts that leave one, frankly, puzzled. One Christmas, my parents--who have never gone 2 months without seeing me--gave me a beard trimmer even though I do not, nor have I ever had, nor ever contemplated having the merest suggestion of facial hair. They also gave me a quesadilla maker that year.
This year I have been jonesing for a combination panini press and waffle iron. I am also a sucker for double-sided cufflinks, and have been wanting to get some in white gold/sterling/platinum.
Don't ask.
-Joke
*Unless you're speaking of something wildly beyond the giftee's budget there is usually a GREAT reason why the giftee has nothing like it.
Well, stop and consider for a moment that, if Guy 1's children were not of gift-purchasing age, it was Mrs. Guy 1 who likely plunked down coin for the hideous tie. This, of course is the part where the punchline "Well, I'm Guy #1" normally apears in thebetter sortof blog. I was inclined to use it, except that's not accurate. I'm NOT Guy #1. More like Guy #1.25-and-change.
I think it's a great testament to love to be married and still in love with someone who is a lousy-- or, at best--seriously impaired in the capacity of gift-giver.
What usually distinguishes the lousy gift-giver from the gift giver who has merely given the odd clunker are:
1- The utter inability to pay attention to what the giftee really enjoys
2- A vow (inevitably fruitless) to REALLY pay attention this time
We will not, for the moment, hold forth on the spectacular sort of lousy gift-giver. Such people are driven by a mordant, passive-aggressive streak that manifests itself in gifts of appalling cheapness or worse in gifts prefaced by "I know you don't have anything like this."* Let's leave that aside for now. Anyway, the mating of lousy gift-giver is normally rough, but is compounded when the other half of the couple is a PITA for whom to shop.
However, nobody is really impossible to shop for. Some giftees require greater sleuthing, attention and effort. This, of course, is were the lousy gifter goes off the cliff in a blaze of flaming splinters. An exercise to illustrate:
Person X collects pocket watches and loves Droopy. It is Person X's _5th birthday (one of those big, important ones). You are Person Y and wish to get Person X a particularly nice gift. What do you do?
1- Do a little bit of detective work to see what sort of pocket watches X likes and get X something to go with the collection or, if that's prohibitive, some accessory (a vintage bit of literature on the watch, etc.) thereto.
2- Find some cool, or hard-to-find, or whimsical (depending on X's outlook) Droopy collectible.
3- Find a pocket watch (or Droopy item) YOU think is nice which, naturally, X "will simply adore."
4- Buy X a Droopy pocket watch.
Another vexation for the giftee are gifts that leave one, frankly, puzzled. One Christmas, my parents--who have never gone 2 months without seeing me--gave me a beard trimmer even though I do not, nor have I ever had, nor ever contemplated having the merest suggestion of facial hair. They also gave me a quesadilla maker that year.
This year I have been jonesing for a combination panini press and waffle iron. I am also a sucker for double-sided cufflinks, and have been wanting to get some in white gold/sterling/platinum.
Don't ask.
-Joke
*Unless you're speaking of something wildly beyond the giftee's budget there is usually a GREAT reason why the giftee has nothing like it.
Comments
Was just on the phone with my SIL whose birthday it was yesterday. Her hub is just THE worst gift giver.
bought her a bunch of crap from Blood Bath and Beyond when she had emailed him a pic of a ring from Sundance.
Got K the pannini press today --
maybe you'll have a nice dinner...
God Bless eBay...
But Joke, the suspense is killing me. Did you get a Droopy watch or what???
--P.