Foodie Philosophy
Now that we're on a foodie vein (What? We are!) I'd like to illuminate the two main camps of foodieness to which you can belong. No, you may not belong to both simultaneously, although some moderate hopping around is, in fact, permitted.
The two basic* camps are the Optimizers and the Authenticators. Let's take a very simple dish, oh, say, spaghetti and marinara sauce, and examine how each group deals with it.
The optimizer will focus on:
1- What brand of spaghetti
2- The differences in size between brands
3- Exactly how long to boil the pasta
4- How much water to use
5- How much salt to the boiling water
6- The proportion of tomato-to-garlic-to-oil
7- Which type of tomato (Roma or San Marzano**?) is better
8- What form (aseptic, canned, jarred, fresh) should the tomato take
9- The proportion of sauce to pasta
The optimizer reads Cook's Illustrated religiously and Alton Brown is the optimizer's hero.
The authenticator has entirely different concerns, such as:
1- What village in Calabria invented spaghetti with marinara?
2- Are there seasonal variations to the recipe?
3- What is the oldest recipe extant for spaghetti with marinara?
4- Can I find some ancient, wizened Italian grandmother to show me exactly how to make it?
5- What tomes of culinary anthropology can I read to make sure the ancient grandmother is spot-on?
6- What is the etymology of spaghetti? of marinara?
7- What restaurant serves the "real McCoy?"
8- What ingredients are the authentic ingredients they use Over There?
9- Where can I find these?
The authenticator reads Saveur Magazine religiously and David Rosengarten is the authenticator's hero.
As their names attest, the optimizer wants to cook something the "best" way whereas the authenticator wants to cook something the "real" way. The authenticator is into the geography of the place; he wants to travel to taste things. The optimizer wants to shop and sample a dizzying array of different foodstuffs and experiment with subtle variations, to get into the chemistry of the dish.
If forced to choose, I'd say I'm among the optimizers. Not for any temperamental reasons, but for practical ones. While it'd be great to cook a bouillabaise like some housewife in Provence, I do not have access to the same stuff in the same condition, nor--even if I had!--am I suffused with the time required to do this. Given that real limitations exist to my being able to feasibly replicate something, I'm more inclined to see how I can best approximate something here in the wilds of suburban Miami.
In closing, it must be said there is a certain subgroup who can only be called "the obsessives." Regrettably, I have often had to go twelve steppin' to escape this mindset, with modest results. The obsessive is usually an optimizer, but can be either. An obsessive is not content to find the best bacon, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise and bread and decipher the best way to make a BLT. No-o-o, my friends. The obsessive, in the full throes of the mania, will grow his own organic tomatoes and hydroponic lettuce, make his own mayonnaise from organic, free-range eggs (from his own hens if given half a chance) and the most recent Ligurian EVOO, bake his own Pullman loaf of bread and, far more often than you'd think, cure and smoke his own bacon. Only zoning issues prevent him from turning into a swineherd.
The obsessive is after a climactic, life-altering experience. The obsessive wants each bite to be a XXX experience, but can rarely enjoy himself, because he is usually doing a post-mortem*** of whatever he's just prepared.
If I have helped you in your path of self-discovery, I've done my job.
-Joke
* The myriad subtypes will drive you mad, so let's just leave it here for now.
** Who knew Marzano was a saint?
*** "Should I have braised this in the oven or on the stove? Maybe white pepper would have been better?"
The two basic* camps are the Optimizers and the Authenticators. Let's take a very simple dish, oh, say, spaghetti and marinara sauce, and examine how each group deals with it.
The optimizer will focus on:
1- What brand of spaghetti
2- The differences in size between brands
3- Exactly how long to boil the pasta
4- How much water to use
5- How much salt to the boiling water
6- The proportion of tomato-to-garlic-to-oil
7- Which type of tomato (Roma or San Marzano**?) is better
8- What form (aseptic, canned, jarred, fresh) should the tomato take
9- The proportion of sauce to pasta
The optimizer reads Cook's Illustrated religiously and Alton Brown is the optimizer's hero.
The authenticator has entirely different concerns, such as:
1- What village in Calabria invented spaghetti with marinara?
2- Are there seasonal variations to the recipe?
3- What is the oldest recipe extant for spaghetti with marinara?
4- Can I find some ancient, wizened Italian grandmother to show me exactly how to make it?
5- What tomes of culinary anthropology can I read to make sure the ancient grandmother is spot-on?
6- What is the etymology of spaghetti? of marinara?
7- What restaurant serves the "real McCoy?"
8- What ingredients are the authentic ingredients they use Over There?
9- Where can I find these?
The authenticator reads Saveur Magazine religiously and David Rosengarten is the authenticator's hero.
As their names attest, the optimizer wants to cook something the "best" way whereas the authenticator wants to cook something the "real" way. The authenticator is into the geography of the place; he wants to travel to taste things. The optimizer wants to shop and sample a dizzying array of different foodstuffs and experiment with subtle variations, to get into the chemistry of the dish.
If forced to choose, I'd say I'm among the optimizers. Not for any temperamental reasons, but for practical ones. While it'd be great to cook a bouillabaise like some housewife in Provence, I do not have access to the same stuff in the same condition, nor--even if I had!--am I suffused with the time required to do this. Given that real limitations exist to my being able to feasibly replicate something, I'm more inclined to see how I can best approximate something here in the wilds of suburban Miami.
In closing, it must be said there is a certain subgroup who can only be called "the obsessives." Regrettably, I have often had to go twelve steppin' to escape this mindset, with modest results. The obsessive is usually an optimizer, but can be either. An obsessive is not content to find the best bacon, lettuce, tomato, mayonnaise and bread and decipher the best way to make a BLT. No-o-o, my friends. The obsessive, in the full throes of the mania, will grow his own organic tomatoes and hydroponic lettuce, make his own mayonnaise from organic, free-range eggs (from his own hens if given half a chance) and the most recent Ligurian EVOO, bake his own Pullman loaf of bread and, far more often than you'd think, cure and smoke his own bacon. Only zoning issues prevent him from turning into a swineherd.
The obsessive is after a climactic, life-altering experience. The obsessive wants each bite to be a XXX experience, but can rarely enjoy himself, because he is usually doing a post-mortem*** of whatever he's just prepared.
If I have helped you in your path of self-discovery, I've done my job.
-Joke
* The myriad subtypes will drive you mad, so let's just leave it here for now.
** Who knew Marzano was a saint?
*** "Should I have braised this in the oven or on the stove? Maybe white pepper would have been better?"
Comments
That right there is the extent of my French. But we can mock him in another language, if you like.
-J.