Wherein I set in motion my fiendish plot
Dear Friends,
The wedding to be inflicted upon me approaches rapidly, like an insect inexorably drawn to my windshield when I am enjoing a spirited drive through what passes for the SoFla countryside. Therefore, in order to be innoculated--as best as one can--against vapidity, boredom and very poor taste, I have begun the cycle of libation.
In the last 42 minutes, I have managed to polish off a Moretti Birra Rossa and a Sam Adams Light* and, now that I ponder the matter, I think I shall have another go at a Sam. It is a wondrous thing to all of a sudden not dread the wedding. I'm still not looking forward to it, as that woud require a copious near-waterfall of ethanol and I haven't indulged the habit in such a manner in well over 20 years. In fact, last time I did, I wound up with a tattoo as well as completely lost in a bar where every patron was attired like one of the Village People. Demon rum indeed.
I should also admit I am using for teh first time, the damned spell check feature. I use it because although it borders on useless it's not an unalloyed waste of time and my wrting already suffers from my atrocious typing, so heaping ethyl-based misorthography is heaping insult upon injury.
The wedding will still proceed as I feared, with the mostly witless bride marrying the very NQOKD** groom under the most...erm...bucolic setting.
Bah. I sense my mellow self-harshing, I best get another Sam.
-J.
* Formerly and more felicituously known as "Lightship"
** In this case the "our kind" refers to people not likely to be a "Mara." Look it up.
The wedding to be inflicted upon me approaches rapidly, like an insect inexorably drawn to my windshield when I am enjoing a spirited drive through what passes for the SoFla countryside. Therefore, in order to be innoculated--as best as one can--against vapidity, boredom and very poor taste, I have begun the cycle of libation.
In the last 42 minutes, I have managed to polish off a Moretti Birra Rossa and a Sam Adams Light* and, now that I ponder the matter, I think I shall have another go at a Sam. It is a wondrous thing to all of a sudden not dread the wedding. I'm still not looking forward to it, as that woud require a copious near-waterfall of ethanol and I haven't indulged the habit in such a manner in well over 20 years. In fact, last time I did, I wound up with a tattoo as well as completely lost in a bar where every patron was attired like one of the Village People. Demon rum indeed.
I should also admit I am using for teh first time, the damned spell check feature. I use it because although it borders on useless it's not an unalloyed waste of time and my wrting already suffers from my atrocious typing, so heaping ethyl-based misorthography is heaping insult upon injury.
The wedding will still proceed as I feared, with the mostly witless bride marrying the very NQOKD** groom under the most...erm...bucolic setting.
Bah. I sense my mellow self-harshing, I best get another Sam.
-J.
* Formerly and more felicituously known as "Lightship"
** In this case the "our kind" refers to people not likely to be a "Mara." Look it up.
Comments
Oh, and the Blogger spellchecker thingie IS useless, by God! It doesn't know any good swear words at all!
The intention was to catch a pleasant buzz and hold it, not to become, as we were wont to say in those days in which I was an undergraduate, "luggage."
And on this side of the continent, tequila and all things Mejican aren't quite the smash they may be in California, Arizona or Tejas. We're rum folk, not that I had any.