Just some random things

Dear Internet,

Very rarely do I do something truly, spectacularly boneheaded. I did last night. After a long episode of boarding up, I was--once again--trying to convince That Fabulous Babe I Married that we have the fancy schmancy "impact resistant windows." During the boardin' up process, I had POUNDED the panes with a hammer at full force and nothin'. So, anyway, to make the point I rapped (far less forcefully than one would with, say, a hammer) on a pane on the kitchen window as I was mentioning this to her and...you guessed it, it shattered into eleventy gazillion shards. The drawback to this is not only the cleanup and needing to fix the windowpane, but TFBIM now thinks of me as having the IQ of a medium-sized bucket and every pronouncement I have ever made, from our first meeting at a Halloween party in 1986 until last night, is held in the deepest suspicion.

We're almost done with hurricane prep heah. We have fuel for the generator, we have the impact resistant windows all boarded up and now all we have left to do is put up the aluminum shutters.

Which leads to monumental boredom. So I go off on eBay to look for the things I want for Christmas and nobody seems to figure out. Part of the problem of being me is that the sorts of things I like are rarely found in the Anglosphere part of eBay. This means a lot of time spent at freetranslation.com since, invariably, most of the sellers who have what I want are in Austria or France. Then, of course is begging these sellers to ship to the USA, something which averages 20 euro and, as a consequence, is thoughtto be utter madness by the Franco-Germanic eBay community.

The nice thing about the European eBayers is that they almost never, ever, ever have a reserve price. The bad thing is that, UK eBayers aside, they hardly ever take payment other than a wire transfer, which automatically adds $49 to the price of something, and sometimes more, as a banks in Italy routinely take an incoming transfer fee, so you have to pile on more than you meant. It's OK if you got a steal in the first place (like, say, a super-rare solid mahogany steering wheel in mint shape that ends up costing 1/3 of what it should, even after you add these bizarro charges) but all the nickel-and-dime stuff gives me a headache.

The only thing about eBay that drives me mental is the stuff that you didn't realize lived so far upslope on the supply/demant curve. A couple of sports cars ago, I wanted a new gas cap, since the one I had had a slight, nearly invisible, hairline crack. Someone on eBay had such a thing, mint-in-box, with keys. The starting price was $1. So, to make sure I'd win the auction I set my bidding software (the kind that logs in to eBay and bids for you at the last second) for a sum I thought was completely ridiculous:$100. After all, the price for this part, back when it was being sold at dealerships everywhere not that long ago, was $12. So I went to bed, all smug. When I woke up to check up on my triumph, I was crestfallen to see the hammer price was $376. For a GAS CAP. Not that I was willing to pony up that kind of coin, but still, damn.

So that's what I do when I have to wait day after day for a hurricane that may or may not hit us.

-J.

Comments

Badger said…
Well, I certainly hope the hurricane gives you a miss, but as to the window thing I must say HAHAHAHAAAAAAAAAA!

If my beloved did that, the joy I would receive from holding that over his head FOR YEARS would far outweigh any hassle over cleanup (which, of course, would be HIS JOB anyway).

Hee.

Oh, and be safe.
BabelBabe said…
i shattered our backdoor window, slamming the door in a fit of pique over something the hoodlums had done. i haven't felt so stupid or so childish in a very long time.

we did not have a hurricane on the way at the time or i really would never live it down.
Joke said…
The sad thing is that EVERY OTHER BLOODY WINDOW in the house is impact resistant. I have pounded the all with a hammer as hard as I could and nothing. But the one I tap with my knuckles? A pile of sand and shards underneath my kitchen window.

-J.
Joker, Joker, Joker...TFBIM must be more in love with you today than she ever has, for now she knows you really need her! :) If you don't tell anyone else, just say it broke in the storm when some Camaro's transmission or a coconut came flying into it at 150 mph....but WE will always know the truth... :)

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