Physician, heal myself.

Yesterday didn't quite suck. It came close, it teetered on the edge of suckitude and wiggled its toes. Work hath kicked mine arse so, to relieve the tedium while I await the impending arrival at my office of an Argentine client with a notoriously flexible outlook on the definition of "punctuality" I bring you a meme swiped from Badger, who, in turn swiped it from Karla.
Or so she (Badger) thinks.

1. How old do you wish you were? Whatever age gets rid of these "where did THIS ache come from?" and the dreaded "now that you're a man over 35 exam" annoyances.

2. Where were you when 9/11 happened? I was at the office, just a bit early. Like Badge, I figured it was some idiot in propeller plane until I saw the second plane hit. My friend S. died, pretty much on impact, then. (He worked at Cantor Fitzgerald, and the 1st plane hit the floor he worked in.) His family has found any remains of him to bury. By the time it's all said and done I believe it'll prove to have been the start of WWIII.

3. What do you do when vending machines steal your money? "I hit/wiggle them. And then I curse. But I rarely use vending machines, so it doesn't happen very often." Ditto.

4. Do you consider yourself kind? Surprisingly, yes.

5. If you had to get a tattoo, where and what would it be? We've been over this.

6. If you could be fluent in any other language what would it be? Italian. I can muddle through it, but I'd love to be "native level." Spanish & English I got covered.

7. Do you know your neighbors? The ones across the street, but I have known them from before we neighborized them. I'm not, y'know, neighborly.

8. What do you consider a vacation? Anything that involves leaving home, not doing ANYTHING, in pleasant surroundings with plentiful beverages and a body of water into which I may leap to cool off. Oh, and good shopping.

9. Do you follow your horoscope? Dude, I don't even know my sign.

10. Would you move for the person you loved? That depends on who and where I'd move to. Definitely not to a state with imbecilic liquor laws (i.e. Blue Laws or state stores), an income tax or a definable winter. A place without a coastline is suspect, as well.

11. Are you touchy feely? I can be, but it's not my natural state of mind.

12. Do you believe that opposites attract? I believe oppositeness doesn't matter. An equal level of insanity, howe'er, does.

13. Dream job? Charming ne'er-do-well.

14. Favorite channels? Food Network and Speed.

15. Favorite place to go on a weekend? Naples, FL. (The thinking man's Palm Beach.)

16. Showers or Bath? Showers. I believe in a bath you're pretty much steeping in the stuff you allegedly wanted to clean off.

17. Do you paint your nails? No thanks, I'm good.

18. Do you trust people easily? Not easily. Most people suck.

19. What are your phobias? Socialism, totalitarianism, communism, the Infernal Revenue Service.

20. Do you want kids? I'm good, thanks.

21. Do you keep a handwritten journal? Good Lord...why?

22. Where would you rather be right now? On a hammock.

23. What makes you feel warm and safe? Sizeable checks.

24. Heavy or light sleep? Light.

25. Are you paranoid? Nah. Just cynical.

26. Are you impatient? Badger is longanimous in comparison.

27. Who can you relate to? Poppy. She's too much like me. (Surprisingly so!)

28. How do you feel about interracial couples? I demand they be composed of people of different races, otherwise they're just wasting my time. I further demand they be of similar attractiveness. They needn't be the same height. If one is left-handed, even better.

29. Have you been burned by love? Burned? Let's just say I am glad I wasn't a chicken with Badger around wielding a fork and knife.

30. What's your life motto? "This is NOT THAT @#$%ing complicated!"

31. What's your main ringtone on your mobile? "Main?" I have the one that came with the phone. I can't be bothered to screw around with ringtones. I have a life to lead.

32. What were you doing at midnight last night? I was bored.

33. Who was your last text message from? TFBIM.

34. Whose bed did you sleep in last night? TFBIM's

35. What color shirt are you wearing? White.

36. Most recent movie you watched? Cars. (again!)

37. Name five things you have on you at all times? Glasses, wedding ring, watch, skivvies, grey hair.

38. What color are your bed sheets? Always some flavor of blue.

39. How much cash do you have on you right now? On me? None. In my wallet? None. If I can't plastic it, I don't need it.

40. What is your favorite part of a chicken? The skin-on breast.

41. What's your favorite town/city? Right here.

42. I can't wait till... I can read in peace.

43. Who got you to join MySpace? If I ever join MySpace, I'll tell you.

44. What did you have for dinner last night? I made fresh spinach ravioli.

45. How tall are you barefoot? 5'9" and some change. If I stand up REAL straight, a picometer under 5'10"

46. Have you ever smoked crack? I've never even seen crack.

47. Do you own a gun? Yes. Beware.

48. What do you prefer to drink in the morning? Espresso.

49. What is your secret weapon to lure in the opposite sex? My charm, my sense of dress and more of my charm. I'm not wasting my liquor on anyone who doesn't find me charming.

50. Do you have A.D.D.? I wish I did.

51. What time did you wake up today? 6:30-ish.

52. Current worry? My parents and my kids.

53. Current hate? Not enough bandwidth to cover them.

54. Favorite place to be? Reading in bed.

55. Where would you like to travel? Italy, London and all the Disney theme parks around the globe.

56. Where do you think you'll be in 10 yrs? About 2 miles THAT way.

57. Last thing you ate? A pain ficelle with butter

58. What songs do you sing in the shower? I think in the shower.

59. Last person that made you laugh? Poppy, via Richard Simmons.

60. Worst injury you've ever had? Fractured skull.

61. Does someone have a crush on you? Oh, Lord, please, let it be nobody.

62. What is your favorite candy? Callard & Bowser Butterscotch.

Comments

MsCellania said…
Oh, I love reading these. I stole this for my Blog.

And we all knew you were kind. Yes, we did. And you are.
BabelBabe said…
what Vickee said.

also, BUTTERSCOTCH? C'mon, that's not even real candy. That's what my ancient aunts gave me to shut me up in church when I was a toddler.

and I took the boys to see Cars. Really enjoyable and fun flick. They now run all over thehouse fighting over who gets to be Lightning McQueen.
Joke said…
My grandmother used to give me the Brach's butterscotch as a kid. But the C&B stuff is great.

The Altoid Citrus Sours are a close 2nd, though.

-J.
Badger said…
It's a closely held secret that I prefer butterscotch pudding to chocolate.

Oh $#!+, now everyone knows!

(And also, I'm a bit of a butter rum Lifesavers junkie. When I can find them. Which isn't often.)
Badger said…
Oh, and ALSO you are an Aries. Which I have told you before. But I know you have trouble retaining info about which you care not.
Joke said…
"Retain" implies I, at one point, gave enough of a damn to hold on to the information, even for a picosecond.

-J.

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