Things You Couldn't Know By Reading This Blog
This is really, totally, inexcusably and brazenly stolen from Badger.
Things you could not know about me from reading my blog (until now!)
1. I have trouble with eye contact. Looking someone straight in the eye for over, say, 5-6 seconds really, truly rattles me. If you think I am making eye contact I am actually looking at your cheekbones, which is still a bit unnerving for me. Take it as a supreme compliment.
2- I am wildly profane. But, being the product of my schooling and upbringing, I temper it when I am (or could be) around women and children. However, I have made longshorepersons blush.
3- I am REALLY opinionated and often judgmental. And I like being judgmental. I am also always right. (Yes, I am also that arrogant.) You have no idea of how much of a raving prick I can sound like when someone gets me started. Since hypertension runs in my family, I try to not get started. I especially do not wish to get started on all the times my clearly correct and brilliant advice was disregarded to the great detriment of the advise-ee.
4- I am, like, stupidly sentimental. I cannot hear "America the Beautiful" without tearing up. Really.
5- I have punched people out. Why does it read weird to type "I have punched guys out."? I mean, I've/I'd never hit a girl, but that just came out weird.
6- I often think too fast for my mouth and mangle REALLY easy words.
7- I am a snob. In fact, I am an even bigger snob than even Poppy thinks I am. BUT, I am an egalitarian snob, meaning I don't hold it against anyne that I am vastly superior in every relevant measure.
8- I rarely laugh, even at stuff I think is funny. For me to laugh something has to be spectacularly hilarious. Like, y'know, the stuff Poppy says.
9- I am allergic to chocolate, tomatoes and corn.
10- I haven't been barking drunk since my bachelor party. I have been informed I pretty much behaved.
Bonus!
#11: I have no sense of direction at all.
-Joke
Things you could not know about me from reading my blog (until now!)
1. I have trouble with eye contact. Looking someone straight in the eye for over, say, 5-6 seconds really, truly rattles me. If you think I am making eye contact I am actually looking at your cheekbones, which is still a bit unnerving for me. Take it as a supreme compliment.
2- I am wildly profane. But, being the product of my schooling and upbringing, I temper it when I am (or could be) around women and children. However, I have made longshorepersons blush.
3- I am REALLY opinionated and often judgmental. And I like being judgmental. I am also always right. (Yes, I am also that arrogant.) You have no idea of how much of a raving prick I can sound like when someone gets me started. Since hypertension runs in my family, I try to not get started. I especially do not wish to get started on all the times my clearly correct and brilliant advice was disregarded to the great detriment of the advise-ee.
4- I am, like, stupidly sentimental. I cannot hear "America the Beautiful" without tearing up. Really.
5- I have punched people out. Why does it read weird to type "I have punched guys out."? I mean, I've/I'd never hit a girl, but that just came out weird.
6- I often think too fast for my mouth and mangle REALLY easy words.
7- I am a snob. In fact, I am an even bigger snob than even Poppy thinks I am. BUT, I am an egalitarian snob, meaning I don't hold it against anyne that I am vastly superior in every relevant measure.
8- I rarely laugh, even at stuff I think is funny. For me to laugh something has to be spectacularly hilarious. Like, y'know, the stuff Poppy says.
9- I am allergic to chocolate, tomatoes and corn.
10- I haven't been barking drunk since my bachelor party. I have been informed I pretty much behaved.
Bonus!
#11: I have no sense of direction at all.
-Joke
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