Saturday, March 18, 2006

Check your answers

What is the best brand of products to preserve leather?
Leatherique
My alcohoroscope shows me to be what sign?
Aries
What do I like to drink in those teeny tiny Petrossian glasses and what do I enjoy eating as an accompaniment?
Collins hackleback sturgeon caviar & a Czech pilsner beer
What's my Myers-Briggs personality type?
INTJ-The Mastermind
What do I use to clean the burners of the porn grill?
Griot's Garage brand stainless steel cleaner
How long did I actually have (in the physical sense) the car that sucked?
3 months, give or take
What Rat Packer am I?
Dino
What, in my opinion, is the worst part of living in SoFla?
The appalling lack of vintage bookstores.
Who is the artist being honored (in absentia) at JokeFest2006?
Josh Agle, a/k/a "SHAG"
How many "tuxedo-able" bow ties do I own?
4
What is my most heretical recipe?
Mashed potatoes
What is the title of the first book I recommended on this blog?
The Genius In The Design
Do I consider myself a metrosexual and why or why not?
No, because I don't care avout eye serum
How many turkeys did I grill for Thanksgiving 2005?
1
What did I spend 1/1/05 doing?
Downloading forgotten songs and reveling in the musical past
What scary thing did my 8 year old ask Santa for?
A black hoe
What's wrong with MOST organic milk these days?
It doesn't taste any better than regular milk because they are ULTRA pasteurized, the bastids.
What airline couldn't get us from "here to there"
American Airlines
What do I call the day in which Poppy and self became pals?
You celebrate your Drivelversary, 4/11/98 (It lands between JokeFest and the day TFBIM ends her tax season, which is why I remember it)
What is my medical directive to my wife/children?
Keep me alive, unless I'm in pain or peeing on myself.
What holiday was the subject of a LONG and hilarious blog entry that, sadly, Blogger ate?
Christmas!
How did I describe the ::cough, cough:: Cupid garden statue TFBIM got? (BONUS! What happened to that statue?)
Billy Barty wearing a wig and a loincloth. (I killed it with a golf club and blamed it on Hurrican Wilma)
Which relative vexes me telephonically the most?
Dad
How many times has an Italian car left me stranded?
1 (dead battery)
What did I consider (at the time) to be better than sex?
The first hot shower in a week.

Now you know!

-J.

Posted by Joke at 11:09 PM

8 Comments

  • Blogger Karan posted at 1:13 AM, March 19, 2006  
    I carefully compared your responses with mine and saw that you got them all wrong. Please try harder next time.
  • Blogger Sarah Louise posted at 8:43 AM, March 19, 2006  
    And you win the second prize for making me laugh out loud today. I'm lurking to check on your confessions as I compose my own...
  • Blogger Carolyn posted at 12:32 PM, March 19, 2006  
    You still didn't tell me what a porn grill was!

    You just said what you cleaned it with.

    Where do I go to read the porn grill blog entry?
  • Blogger Joke posted at 12:43 PM, March 19, 2006  
    Carolyn,

    http://thejokeblog.blogspot.com/2005/06/porno-grill-love-story.html

    -J.
  • Blogger jess posted at 8:35 PM, March 19, 2006  
    I'm also an INTJ. Actual, I'm only sure about the I, T, and J. The N I'm not sure on.

    And oh boy do I hear you on the ultra-pasteurization. Are they trying to kill us or what?
  • Blogger Joke posted at 9:24 PM, March 19, 2006  
    Well, they make my tastebuds feel dead.

    Whenever I feel duly worked up, I head over to a store wa-a-a-a-ay across town that has the organic milk that's been slow pasteurized (i.e., more expensive process and shorter shelf like) but at least the milk tastes like milk and not like Cremora(TM) and water.

    -J.
  • Blogger jess posted at 2:09 AM, March 21, 2006  
    Sounds like you need to find yourself a cow-share.
  • Blogger Joke posted at 7:53 AM, March 21, 2006  
    I would, if that didn't constitute a zoning violation.

    -J.
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