Pedantic Onion Dip

I was rummaging all over the blogosphere when I came upon a French Onion Dip discussion. It is a well known fact I am constitutionally unable to make anything which involves opening an envelope and pouring out mostly sodium and desiccated bits. So, to benefit humanity here is my recipe:

For Real Onion Dip From Scratch

2 tablespoons butter
1 1/2 cups FINELY diced onions
1/4 teaspoon sea salt
1 1/2 cups sour half-and-half (NOT nonfat sour cream or any fake sour cream with weirdo ingredients...in a pinch use sour cream, but you may have to add a bit more yogurt because with straight sour cream I find it too dense)
3/4 cup plain lowfat yogurt (NOT nonfat)
1 TEENY clove of garlic, minced, diced and otherwise turned into a pulp
1/4 teaspoon (FINELY!) ground white pepper (optional, use black if that's all you have)
2 cups for-real beef stock
1/2 teaspoon sea salt (optional, depending on your stock)

1) Mix the sour half-and-half and the yogurt well, and leave out at room temperature for a few hours, ideally overnight. It will bubble and thicken and NO IT WILL NOT KILL YOU.

2) In a medium saucepan, simmer the beef stock until reduced to a syrup (I like it thicker than maple syrup, thinner than honey, but you? You do whatever.) and then let cool to room temperature completely.

3) In a sauté pan over medium heat melt the butter and add onions and the first salt. Stir and cook the onions until caramelized, about 15-20 minutes. DO NOT LET THEM BURN. Remove from heat and set aside to cool to room temperature.

4) Mix everything and refrigerate and stir again before serving. Taste for seasoning and add the 2nd salt and/or the pepper if needed.

You're welcome.

-J.

P.S. Don't get me started on frying my own potato chips.

Comments

blackbird said…
I do adore sodium and desiccated bits though!

K makes his own potato chips...and clam dip, from scratch. with clams from the sea, not a can.
Joke said…
It's only desiccated onions and two crumbled beef bouillon cubes, in that case.

[/shudder]

-J.
Joke said…
Ha! And they said you were an enabler...

-J.
--erica said…
For the love of coffee yes.
For ONION DIP. heaven's no.

One must have priorities.
You mean sour cream and French onion soup powder isn't authentic? Does the same rule apply to Hidden Valley Ranch? If not I sure hope you have a scratch recipe for us... {wringing hands in delight imagining Joke's fury} :) Bon jour mis amis
Badger said…
I just buy a carton of Helluva and call it a day.
Sarah Louise said…
nope, I think the boredom meter broke on this post. At least I understand the big deal about coffee. This...borders on insanity. Although I have to admit, I do now crave onion dip.

Stupid Internet!
Gina said…
I'm sorry, but I'm sure that would indeed kill me! If I tried to leave yogurt and sour half-and-half out on the counter overnight I WOULDN'T BE ABLE TO SLEEP--even if the intent were to throw them out and not EAT THEM.

Botulism! It's what's for dinner!

See? I have issues.
julia said…
Dood. You have way too much time on your hands. Overnight? For friggin' ONION dip? Buy some Wise Green Onion dip, bung it into a container of sour cream and be done with it. Save all that time and energy for profiteroles or lobster bisque or something, y'know, that's worth it.


My word verification is nipbbq. Which is putting all kinds seriously unwanted nipplage/bbq sauce images into my head.
Joke said…
You don't have to do the overnight thing, you can just spend $$$$ for creme fraiche, which seems rather wasteful for onion dip.

And it doesn't give you botulism because the yogurt and the sour 'alf an' 'alf are too acid.

And Julia...I make EVERYTHING from scratch, unless I can find someone to have managed to find some sort of foodie version thereof.

-J.
jess said…
Or you can just make your own creme fraiche. I'm a big fan of leaving dairy products out overnight.
Kim said…
Joke, I have come here via badger, or maybe blackbird, I forget.
Anyway, I'm reading these posts of yours, in random order and all I can think is - who is this strange strange person.
Then you posted this, and you make perfect sense. Welcome to my world.
Gina - your comment made me almost pee my pants. No, it won't kill you. Promise.
BabelBabe said…
sweet jesus, joke - i barely have time to cook dinner. let alone onion dip.

and i always leave dairy products out overnight - just not on purpose.

bring on the B&L carton. and you should know now, i am a diehard original Ruffles girl.
Joke said…
BabBab,

Your last comment reminds me of Ferris Bueller's: "You're not dying, you just can't think of anything good to do."

By that I mean that I'm GUESSING it may be more an issue with stress than time.

Of course, I could be wrong.

-J.

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